"I think as adults, we all know what floats and what doesn't float. We all kinda can guess within a fairly close percentage what's gonna float."
— David Letterman, February 28, 2002


FLOTATION GUESS SUCCESS CHART
Andrea Sande
1 / 1
100 %
Hugh Hefner
1 / 1
100 %
Larry Miller
1 / 1
100 %
Anton Fig
1 / 1
100 %
Bruce Kapler
1 / 1
100 %
Pres. George W. Bush
1 / 1
100 %
David Letterman
124 / 195
63.6 %
Paul Shaffer
111 / 191
58.1 %
Late Show Audience
1 / 2
50 %
Sid McGinnis
0 / 1
0 %
Ted Koppel
0 / 1
0 %




Donz's CD is finally available!

Red Horizon is now available from CD Baby for a mere $12.98. A collaboration of Tad Lathrop and the world's #1 Letterman fan, Don Giller (Donz5), Red Horizons was many years in the making. I was fortunate enough to receive a preview copy of the CD a few months ago, and it's outstanding. Those of us who know Donz are aware of the tremendous amount of work he's put into editing, and getting everything just right. Now it's ready for prime time. You can preview some of the tracks on CD Baby. You may be excused from this site temporarily while you order the CD. This just in: Look at the reviews on Amazon, where it's also available.

  1. 2/06/02: premiere of Will It Float?
    Tonight: a brick of Velveeta® cheese / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Paul says it will float. / Dave says it will sink. / It sinks! / In this primitive first episode, the familiar, peppy theme song is nowhere to be heard. The words to the original theme song are "Will It Float?" (video)

  2. 2/07/02
    Dave prefaces Episode 2 with, "We tried it once last night, and it was just awful. It was just... it was stupid, and a waste of everyone's time. So we thought we would try it again tonight, and if it's no better tonight, then that's it. OK... it's a little something we call Will It Float?" / CBS Orchestra with the three-word theme song, "Will It Float?" / Tonight: a cantaloupe / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. / It floats! (video)

  3. 2/28/02
    Dave says of the new segment, "We've only done this three times. Nobody on the show really likes it. From your cards and letters and phone calls, we know that you folks at home don't care for it, either. We're gonna try it one more time, and if it's not anything tonight, that's it. This could be the final episode. Because it's, it's just beyond dumb, it's lame, and it's just... there's no point to it, because I think as adults, we all know what floats and what doesn't float. So the premise is kind of false, anyway. We all kinda can guess within a fairly close percentage what's gonna float." / Tonight: a bowling pin / Dave and Paul both agree that a bowling pin's made of wood, and will float. Dave is about to cancel the segment when Paul astutely points out, "If you don't raise the scrim, we don't get to look at the models." / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / It floats! / Dave announces, "That's the last you'll ever see of Will It Floats? You can tell your grandkids you were here on the night we killed Will It Floats?"

  4. 3/13/02
    Tonight: a fire extinguisher / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Dave and Paul agree that it will sink. / It sinks!

  5. 3/20/02
    Dave reports that now people love Will It Float?  It helps us feel better about our lives. / Tonight: a half gallon of Breyer's® strawberry ice cream / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty , and co-hosted by Paul / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. / It floats! / slo-mo replay of flotation

  6. 3/27/02
    new scrim tonight / Alan announces that tonight's experiment is a salami. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on tank duty / Paul: It's gonna sink. / Dave recuses himself. / It sinks!

  7. 4/04/02
    Alan says tonight we'll be testing a fully-packed suitcase. / Dave and Paul say float. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande dump the suitcase. / It floats!

  8. 4/12/02
    Alan Kalter informs us that tonight's experiment will be a Swiss cheese wheel. / Paul says float. / Dave pulls executive privilege and inspects the item at point blank range, then says sink. / Nadine and Andrea dump it. / It sinks like a rock!

  9. 4/25/02
    Alan informs us that tonight's experiment will involve a microwave oven. / Nadine Hennelly and ??? on tank duty / Dave and Paul vote sink. / It sinks!

  10. 5/02/02
    Alan says tonight's experiment will involve a tub of margarine. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on tank duty / Dave and Paul agree it's a sinker. / It floats! This is Dave's first wrong guess.

  11. 5/10/02
    Alan informs us that tonight's experiment involves a bag of party ice. / Nadine and Andrea on tank duty / Dave and Paul agree that it will float. Dave invites the Hi Ho babes to vote. Nadine offers no opinion. Andrea says it will float. / It floats!

  12. 5/17/02
    Alan says it's a gallon of milk. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Dave and Paul agree it will float. / It sinks!

  13. 5/24/02
    Alan says tonight's experiment is an exotic woman eating fire. / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. / She never gets near water.

  14. 6/14/02
    Alan says tonight's experiment features a vacuum-sealed two-pound bag of coffee. / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / unknown model with Andrea Sande on float tank duty / It floats!

  15. 6/28/02
    Tonight: a bunch of bananas / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty -- not in sparkly dresses tonight / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / They float!

  16. 7/12/02
    Tonight: a folding aluminum beach chair / Paul says sink. / Dave says sink. / Nadine, ? and the fire lady / It sank, but slowly.

  17. 7/19/02
    Ted Koppel comes out for his interview. / Dave and Ted decide to go ahead with tonight's Will It Float? segment. / Tonight: a fifteen-pound bag of charcoal / Kiva the fire lady attempts to no avail to distract our attention from Nadine Hennelly on float tank duty. / Ted says sink. / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / It floats!

  18. 7/26/02
    a George Foreman grill / Nadine and Kiva on float tank duty / Paul says sink. / Dave says sink. / grill goes straight to the bottom

  19. 8/02/02
    Tonight: a 6-pound can of Crisco® / Nadine Hennelly and ? on float tank duty / Kiva the grinder girl attempts to distract attention from Nadine, to no avail. / Paul says sink. / Dave says sink. / It floats!!

  20. 8/23/02
    Alan says tonight we have a salon-sized jar of hair gel. / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / Nadine Hennelly, Andrea Sande and Kiva (on grinder duty) / It floats!

  21. 8/29/02
    Alan says tonight we're experimenting with a gallon of spackle. / Dave says sink. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Paul says sink. / It sinks!

  22. 9/06/02
    Alan says tonight's experiment will be on a five-pound bag of flour. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty, dodging sparks from Kiva, the grinder girl / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / It floats!

  23. 9/13/02
    Tonight: a 20-pound bag of Tidy Cats® cat litter / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Paul says float. / Dave says sink. / It floats!

  24. 9/27/02
    Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Alan Kalter tells us that tonight's experiment will be on a 32-ounce jar of mayonnaise. / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / That jar went straight for the bottom.

  25. 10/04/02
    Alan Kalter says tonight's experiment involves a toner cartridge for a photocopy machine. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / It floats!

  26. 10/11/02
    Dave claims that Will It Float? is a take-off on the venerable British program Is It Bouyant? / Alan says tonight's experiment will be on a Duraflame® log. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / Yup. It floats!

  27. 10/18/02
    Alan says tonight's experiment will involve a fifty-pound bag of taters. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Paul says sink. / Dave says sink. / It floats! Wait a minute, now. Those taters were on the surface for a bit, but they're headed to the icy depths of the float tank. / They sink! / And that's how we play Will It Float?

  28. 11/01/02
    Dave reminds us that this new educational segment was stolen outright from the BBC's Is It Buoyant? / Alan Kalter says tonight's experiment involves a 175-ounce box of Tide® laundry detergent. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Paul: It will float for a bit, then sink. / Dave: float / It floats! / And that's how we play Will It Float?

  29. 11/08/02
    Alan tells us tonight's experiment involves a 66-ounce jar of olives. / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Dave gets antsy, comes over to the experiment site and slam dunks the olive jar. / It sinks!

  30. 11/22/02
    Alan says it's a 7-lb. 4-oz. can of pumpkin pie filling. / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Tonight: introducing Anna Jack on hula hoops / It sinks!

  31. 11/22/02
    Alan says tonight's second experiment will be on a one-gallon jug of antifreeze. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva on grinder / hula hoop girl / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / Larry Miller says sink. / It sinks!

  32. 11/29/02
    Tonight's experiment: a large bag of road salt / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / hula hoop girl / It sinks!

  33. 12/13/02
    Tonight: a fruit basket / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / hula hoop girl / It floats!

  34. 12/18/02
    Tonight: a ten-inch cheese log / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / The models' support staff tonight includes Kiva Kahl on grinder duty and Anna Jack, the hula hoop girl. / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / It sinks!

  35. 12/27/02
    Tonight: an eight-pound bowling ball / Major controversy ensues as Dave discovers it's not a regulation bowling ball. / Dave drags Gaines into it. / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / no Nadine or Andrea / Kiva Kahl (with grinder) and Anna the hula hoop girl stand in on float tank duty / It floats!

  36. 1/08/03
    Tonight: a Cuisinart® food grinder / Kiva Kahl and Anna the hula hoop girl on float tank duty / Dave says sink. / Paul says sink. / It sinks!

  37. 1/17/03
    a one-gallon can of shellac / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / hula hoop girl / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. / floats!

  38. 1/17/03 Bonus Round
    Nadine and Andrea again / a container of dishwashing liquid / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / It sinks!

  39. 1/24/03
    Tonight: an Oakland Raiders football helmet / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Hula Hoop Girl / It floats!

  40. 2/07/03
    Tonight: a rack of barbecue ribs / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty and Hula Hoop Girl / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. / It sinks!

  41. 2/14/03
    Tonight: a Delco® car battery / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder / Hula Hoop girl / Dave and Paul agree: It has to sink. / It sinks!

  42. 2/21/03
    Tonight: a roll of duct tape / Kiva Kahl on grinder and Hula Hoop Girl / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / It sinks!

  43. 4/02/03
    a 20-pound bag of bird seed / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder / Hula Hoop Girl / It floats!

  44. 4/17/03
    Tonight: a regulation baseball base / Nadine Hennelly and Andrea Sande on float tank duty / Hula Hoop Girl and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / It floats!

  45. 5/02/03
    Dave gives a variety of stats on Will It Float?, which premiered on Feb. 6, 2002. Dave says tonight's the 41st installment. (incorrect, as you can see here) Paul has been correct on 23 of 41. Dave comes in at 28 of 40 for 70%. He disqualified himself once because he touched the salami that was tested.] [Will It Float?
    Tonight: a 45-pound bag of fertilizer / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder and Hula Hoop Girl / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / It floats!

  46. 5/09/03
    Tonight: a box of Gorton's® Fish Sticks / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder and Hula Hoop Girl / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / It floats!

  47. 5/09/03 Bonus Round
    a bottle of perfume / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / It sinks!

  48. 5/14/03
    Tonight: a 9.3-lb. container of Gainers Fuel 2500 / Andrea and ? on float tank duty / Hula Hoop Girl and Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Dave says sink. / Paul says float. / It floats!

  49. 5/14/03 Bonus Round
    Tonight: a 16-oz. bag of walnuts / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / It floats!

  50. 5/22/03
    Tonight: a bundle of 25 New York Times papers / Paul says sink. / Dave says sink. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder / Hula Hoop Girl / It floats!

  51. 6/05/03
    Tonight: a 25-pound slab of clay / Paul says float. / Dave says sink., then changes his prediction to float. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty and Hula Hoop Girl / It sinks!

  52. 6/19/03
    Tonight: a 32-ounce bottle of weed killer / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder, with Hula Hoop Girl / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / It floats!

  53. 6/25/03
    Tonight: a three-gallon carton of rainbow sherbet / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Hula Hoop Girl and Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / It floats!

  54. 7/18/03
    Tonight: 31 pounds of pizza dough / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder / Hula Hoop Girl / It floats!

  55. 7/25/03
    Tonight: a 500-foot spool of coaxial cable / Dave says sink. / Mr. S.says sink. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Hula Hoop Girl / Kiva Kahl on grinder / It floats! / Dave calls for a retest, minus the wooden spool.

  56. 7/25/03  Retest
    500 feet of coaxial cable (unspooled) / Dave says sink. / Paul says sink. / It sinks!

  57. 8/01/03
    Dave shows the brand new Will It Float? home game. / Tonight: a four-piece, stainless steel barbecue set, with bamboo handles, in a cardboard box / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder / Hula Hoop Girl Anna Jack has a gig in Atlanta. / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / It floats!

  58. 8/08/03
    Tonight: a five-gallon bucket of airport grade driveway resurfacer / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder / Anna Jack on hula hoops / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / It sinks!

  59. 8/29/03
    Dave shows the home game / Tonight: a gallon of Elmer's® Glue-All / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty and Anna Jack on hula hoop / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / It sinks!

  60. 9/05/03
    Tonight: a 7-gallon cooler filled with Gatorade® and ice / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Anna Jack on hula hoop and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / It floats!

  61. 9/05/03 Bonus Round
    Tonight's second item: 2,250 feet of twine, wrapped in plastic / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. / Andrea and ? / Anna and Kiva / It floats!

  62. 9/12/03
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight's experiment: a Pastamatic® MX700 pasta maker / playing for a dream house / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Dave says sink. / Paul says sink. / It sinks!

  63. 9/26/03
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight: 22 pounds of chocolate chip cookie dough / Paul says float. / Dave says sink. / The audience says sink.s / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty and Anna Jack on hula hoops / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It sinks!

  64. 10/03/03
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight: a 50-pound bag of flour / Dave says float. / Paul says float, but eventually it will sink. / playing tonight for a brand new car -- or is it a monkey? / Anna Jack on hula hoops / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It floats!

  65. 10/10/03
    Tonight: five gallons of Sandi's® Pure Golden Honey in a plastic container / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / It sinks!

  66. 10/10/03 Bonus Round
    Our second experiment: five pounds of chunk style cottage cheese in a plastic container / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / It floats!

  67. 10/17/03
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight's experiment: a Singer® sewing machine / playing for your very own monkey tonight (chimp photo) / Dave says sink. / Paul says sink. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder duty and Anna Jack on hula hoops / It sinks!

  68. 10/17/03 Bonus Round
    playing for a different monkey! / Our experiment: a 5-gallon plastic container of Saf-T-Wax® / Dave says sink. / Paul says float. / It floats!

  69. 10/31/03
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight's experiment: a five-gallon bucket (sealed) of candy corn / playing tonight for a new motor home! / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It floats!

  70. 11/07/03
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight's experiment: a six-pack of packing tape / playing tonight for a trip to Acupulco! / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder and Anna Jack on hula hoops / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / It floats!

  71. 11/14/03
    Tonight: a one-gallon can of E-Z Steam® Distilled Turpentine / playing tonight for a Caribbean cruise / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / It floats!

  72. 11/28/03
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight: a 7.5-pound can of Ocean Spray® Jelly Cranberry Sauce / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / Kiva Kahl on grinder / Anna Jack on hula hoops / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It floats!

  73. 12/11/03
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight: a one-gallon plastic jug of egg nog / Dave says float. / Paul didn't get to vote. / playing tonight for a brand new car! / Kiva Kahl on grinder and Anna Jack on hula hoops / unknown WIF models / It sinks!

  74. 12/11/03 Bonus Round
    For our second experiment: a one-gallon plastic bottle of Tresemme® 4 + 4 Deep Cleansing Shampoo / playing for a dream house / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / It floats!

  75. 12/19/03
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight: Pillsbury® Sugar Cookie Dough (1 lb. 2 oz.) / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / playing tonight for a brand new jet ski / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / models / It sinks!

  76. 12/19/03 Bonus Round
    Our experiment: a bottle of Log Cabin® Original Syrup / playing tonight for a dining room set / Dave says float. / Paul says float. / It sinks!

  77. 1/09/04
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight's experiment: a 50-pound paper bag of unpopped popcorn / playing tonight for a grand piano / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / The audience says sink. / models, Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / It floats!

  78. 1/16/04
    Dave shows the home game. / He points out that many on the staff don't like Will It Float? He likes it, however, so we'll continue to play it until he drops dead! / Tonight: a 10-pound box of Milk Bone® dog biscuits / playing for a brand new trip to Acupulco / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / It floats! ... After tonight's Will It Float? episode, Dave reads three letters from satisfied viewers, as follows:

    Dear Dave,
    I want to thank you. Will It Float? saved my life. Before I had nothing. Then I tuned in and saw Will It Float?. Now I have something to live for, to see if the thing will float.
    P.S. The chicks are really hot.

    Dear Dave,
    Thanks to Will It Float? I've lost 53 pounds and I feel great.
    Ian Clark
    P.S. The chicks are really hot.

    Dear Dave,
    All of us here at Riker's Island love Will It Float?. It's informative and entertaining. It's infotaining. Damn, them girls are hot.

  79. 1/23/04
    It's a quick, no-nonsense installment tonight. / Our experiment involves a 4-pound, 2 1/2-ounce can of Ruby® light tuna in water. / Paul says sink. / Dave says sink. / unknown models on float tank duty / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / It sinks!

  80. 2/06/04
    Tonight is the second anniversary of the premiere of Will It Float? (with Velveeta® cheese as the first experiment). / Dave shows the home game. / Tonight: a 50-pound bag of Chef's Choice® onions (in a plastic mesh sack) / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. / playing for a trip to Acapulco, Mexico! / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Andrea Sande is back on float tank duty for the first time since November 28, 2003. Where has she been? I've been worried sick! (But I digress.) / It floats!

  81. 2/13/04
    Dave shows the home game, available nowhere. / Tonight we're experimenting with a three-pound box of Russell Stover® assorted chocolate candy. / Dave's all over the place with his prediction, and originally says sink. / Paul says float. / Dave switches to float after hearing Paul's vote (and learning the box is wrapped in cellophane), but says his heart's with it sinking. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It floats! Did you know Russell Stover® candy is made just down I-70 from me in Abilene, Kansas? The factory is about a block south of the interstate.

  82. 2/20/04
    Dave shows the home game, which -- if you haven't noticed by now -- clearly doesn't come with a tank or water, even though our host claims "everything contained in the box there to play a round of Will It Float?" What, exactly, is in this flat box, the size of a Monopoly® game? Models? Hula hoops? Grinder? Nope. My guess is all you get for your money is the rules. ... Tonight we're dunking a case of Colgate® Simply White toothpaste. It's a case of 24 4.2-ounce tubes. / Paul says it will float, but if you came back to it later in the show you'll see that it will have sunk. / Dave says float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops. / Kiva Kahl has a gig in Atlanta tonight, so building engineer George Clarke is filling in on grinder. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty. My, oh my, it's nice to have Andrea back in the buoyancy laboratory! / It floats!

  83. 2/27/04
    It's a lame episode tonight. We're experimenting with a tray of billiard balls. No... they're not going to ride on the plastic tray, as if it's a raft. They're going to be unceremoniously dumped, individually, into the water. / Dave says sink. / Paul says sink. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl back on grinder duty / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / They sink! Now, any imbecile knows a pool ball is going to sink like a rock. I was very disappointed in this episode. There was no element of suspense. How about a transmission next Friday? Mercy!

  84. 3/05/04
    Tonight's experiment: a 25-pound burlap sack of coffee beans / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / playing tonight for a refrigerator-freezer / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Kiva Kahl on grinder and Anna Jack on hula hoops / It floats! / Dave shows the home game.

  85. 3/24/04
    It's been almost three weeks since our last flotation (or not). Tonight we're tossing in a 6-pound, 10-ounce can of ready-to-use nacho cheese sauce. / We're playing for a living room set. / Dave says float. Paul says float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It sinks like a rock.

  86. 4/02/04
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight: a case of 316 Cadbury® Creme Eggs (individually wrapped) / Our grand prize tonight is a dream home! / Paul says float. / Dave says float. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / The 316 eggs sank quickly and efficiently.

  87. 5/07/04
    Hey... how've you been? It's been over a month. / Dave shows the home game. / the experiment: 20 pounds of chocolate chip cookie dough (in blob form) / playing for a Kenmore® 4-slice Cool Touch toaster / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. / Kiva Kahl on grinder and Anna Jack on hula hoops / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It sinks!

  88. 5/21/04
    Dave wants to have a talk with us before tonight's episode. What can it be? Has the program been cancelled? It seems that Kiva Kahl had a gig last night at a concert that didn't go well. The stage was slippery, and the grinder got away from her, resulting in a half-inch-deep cut on her right thigh. She had to go to the hospital to be stitched up. ... We go via satellite to Brooklyn to visit Kiva in bed, to hear the gruesome details and wish her well. She'll be back!

    Dave shows the home game. / We're testing a 32 fluid ounce can of Kwik Light® lighter fluid. / Paul says float. Dave says float. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Gary Mintz on grinder. / It floats!

  89. 5/28/04
    Our experiment involves a 1 1/2-pound porterhouse steak (with no container, unsealed, uncooked). / We're playing for a brand new Honda® Shadow Arrow motorcycle. / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. He reasons that if you were out for a drive and have the misfortune of running over a cow, then decide to drag it off the road and throw it into a lake, it will float. If a cow floats, a steak should float, right? (Does the cow float or tread water?) Or... backing up a couple of steps... is Dave wrong about cow flotation? Stay tuned. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder ... Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It sinks!

    After tonight's non-flotation, Dave tells Paul, "If it were up to me and I had my own show, we'd play that "Will It Float?" all night. And people could gamble... they could wager. With their credit card, and they could call some offshore gambling dump."

  90. 6/11/04
    Dave shows the home game. / We're playing for Firestone® tires. / The lovely "Will It Float?" models will be experimenting on a 64-ounce jar of Extra Crunchy Skippy® peanut butter (vacuum packed). / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Paul incorrectly assumes that its being vacuum packed makes a difference, and says sink. Dave says sink. / It sank.

    Here's the deal as I see it: The condition that would make the peanut butter float would be to increase its volume while adding very little weight. If the jar were sealed but half empty, we'd expect it to float, right? But what's the difference in the weight of the jar if there's air in the empty space vs. a vacuum? You couldn't measure it.

    Now, with something flexible like a balloon, there has to be air vs. a vacuum, because the balloon wouldn't have any volume. A peanut butter jar that's half empty should be strong enough to maintain the same empty space volume whether or not there's a vacuum.

  91. 6/25/04
    Dave shows the home game. / We're playing for a brand new moped. / An 18-inch pepperoni sausage is getting dumped tonight. / Dave says float. Paul says float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It sinks.

  92. 7/02/04
    10 pounds of potato salad in a cardboard container is headed for the laboratory tonight. / Dave says float. / Paul says sink. / Dave shows the home game (available nowhere). / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It seems that potato salad floats.

  93. 7/16/04
    Dave shows the home game, which sounded very much like an empty box when he set it on the desk. Buyer beware. / We're playing for a brand new Toro® lawn mower. / A bell of bird seed is going in the tank. / Paul was sort of cut off by Dave, and never registered a vote. Dave says float. / Kiva Kahl on grinder / Anna Jack on hula hoops / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty. / It floats!

  94. 7/23/04
    Dave shows the home game, reminding us that the holidays are just around the corner. / We're playing for a brand new Vespa® scooter! / Andrea will be dumping a package of Pillsbury® cinnamon rolls. / Paul checks and is told that the rolls are frozen, so he votes float... something about air bubbles trapped inside. / Dave calls Paul Archimedes and votes float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It floats. / Dave says people criticize him, saying "Will It Float?" is just an excuse to have lovely, exciting, beautiful women on the show every Friday night. "That's true," he says.

  95. 7/30/04
    Dave shows the home game. / We're playing for a brand new dining room set. / This is Anton Fig's first time to play. / A 12-ounce jar of Heinz Homestyle Rich Mushroom Gravy is going under. / Anton wants to know what color it is. He says sink. Dave agrees. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder duty / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It sinks!

  96. 8/27/04
    It's been almost a month! / Dave shows the home game (only $19.95 at stores near you) / A 3-pound block of Philadelphia Cream Cheese is going in the tank. / We're playing for a brand new speedboat. / Paul says sink. Dave says float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It floats!

  97. 9/03/04
    Dave shows the home game, reminding us that the holidays are coming up. / The Hi Ho babes will be dumping a 1-gallon plastic jug of liquid soap. / "How many ounces are there in a gallon, Alan?" "16," Alan incorrectly guesses. (Try 128, Alan.) / We're playing for a brand new home theater system! / We've gotten a little rusty at WIF these days, and the scrim comes up before Paul and Dave make their guesses, so we need a few moments to correct this mishap. / Paul says float. Dave says sink. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and a babe blowing bubbles, in for Kiva Kahl, who has a gig. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty. / It floats! / Dave calls upon Gaines for the scoop on the bubbles babe. After a commercial, we learn that the bubbles babe is Valerie Jean, an actress and model from Colorado, who has done stand-up comedy, too.


    Valerie Jean

  98. 9/10/04
    Dave shows the home game, which contains everything you need for "Will It Float?" except the water and the models. / We're playing for a brand new washer-dryer. / Tonight's flotation device is a four-pound plastic jar of Skippy® creamy peanut butter. / Paul says sink. / Dave says float. / The scrim comes up to reveal Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, and Hi Ho babes Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty. / It sinks!

  99. 9/24/04
    Dave shows the home game, and it's a new edition. / A 10.5-pound Virginia ham (packaged in plastic) is going in the tank. / There's a brief scare that Paul will have to disqualify himself this week (because of his religion), but he decides to go forward, predicting a sinking ham. / Dave says float. He's missed two in a row now, having blown his guess on Sept. 3 and 10. / Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder and Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty. / It sinks. / Stay tuned next week to learn whether Dave has to resign because of his 0 - 3 record in September. He's not sure if he cares what floats any more, but he loves the presentation and the tank.

  100. 10/01/04
    Dave shows the home game. / tonight: a 30-pound box of golden raisins (in a plastic bag in a cardboard box, not vacuum sealed, Kosher certified, a product of South Africa) / We're playing for a Carnival cruise. / Paul says sink. / Dave at first claims he doesn't care. He then observes that if a Carnival cruise ship can float, a 30-pound box of raisins should float. In addition, he says we've learned that vegetable matter tends to float more often than not. "I say they is gonna float." / Andrea and ? on float tank duty / Anna Jack on hula hoops / Valerie Jean (in for Kiva) blowing bubbles / It floats!

  101. 10/08/04
    Dave shows the home game, suggesting that the holidays are coming up. / playing tonight for a brand new car! / tonight's experiment will be on a 7.5-ounce jar of Marshmallow Fluff®. / Paul says float. Dave says float. / Valerie Jean is in on bubbles for Anna Jack, who has a gig. Kiva Kahl's on grinder. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It floats!

  102. 10/15/04
    Dave reports that people say, "God bless you for 'Will It Float.' Kids who have stopped going to school have now gone back to study chemistry and science. Their idol is Archimedes." / Dave shows the home game, the perfect stocking stuffer (if you have odd feet). / We're playing for a brand new dining room set! / Tonight's experiment is on five gallons of Neutrogena® hand moisturizer in a plastic pail. / Dave says sink. / Paul says float (because it's sealed, and there may be some air in it the bucket of moisturizer). / Anna Jack on hula hoops, and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It floats! / Dave announces that he had a last minute revelation and is changing to a vote for float, and thus a victory.

    Later in the program, Dave reads testimonial letters from Will It Float? viewers:

    Dave,
    "I am a 35-year-old bald viewer. I recently started watching Will It Float? on your program. Long story short... I have started growing healthy new hair."  -- Matt Calvin  Burlington, Vermont

    Mr. Letterman,
    Will It Float? helped me quit drinking. God bless you, David Letterman, and may God bless Will It Float?  Jeff Fetcher  Chicago, Illinois

    Dear Dave,
    Six months ago my husband was fired from his job. We almost lost everything. But thanks to Will It Float? we bought a new house, and are now expecting our first child. Thanks for everything.  Bebe Isaacs  Sarasota, Florida

    Later yet, Dave calls for another look at the Will It Float? tank. The water has taken a nasty color. It looks like algae has grown in it or something. Hopefully something can be done before next week's installment.

  103. 10/22/04
    Dave shows the home game (only $20). / We're playing for a 2005 Winnebago® Voyage. (MSRP $115,410) / The float tank water's cleaned up this Friday, and we're experimenting on a pumpkin pie in an aluminum pan. / Paul says float. Dave says float. / Anna Jack is on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl is on grinder, but she's not plugged in, so no sparks tonight. / Andrea Sande and ? are on float tank duty in witch costumes. / The pie is dumped, and the control room flashes "It floats!" onscreen as we watch the pie sink. It's hard to blame the control room for misreading the pie's buoyancy from this overhead vantage point. Once we get a side view of the tank and the Hi Ho babes, it's clear that the pie has sunk. "It sinks!" is shown onscreen. / Had the Hi Ho babes laid the pie carefully onto the water, chances are the pie would have floated in its pan, just as a very heavy boat floats in water. With all its total weight, for its size it's still less dense than the water it's in. Discuss.

  104. 11/12/04
    Dave shows the home game... With the holidays just around the corner, it's the perfect stocking stuffer, if you have oddly-shaped feet... / playing for a Broyhill living room set / tonight: a 4-pound jar of grape jelly / Dave says sink. / Paul says float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Valerie Jean on bubbles / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It sinks!

  105. 11/19/04
    Dave shows the home game, mumbling his usual commentary on the product. / We're playing for a brand new Steinway® baby grand piano. / The models will be dumping a 6-pound 12-ounce can of White House® applesauce. / Paul says float. / Dave starts to say float, but reconsiders as he sees a hand signal from Al Chesnovitz in the CBSO. He goes on record with sink. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It sinks.

  106. 11/26/04
    Dave shows the home game, which is an excellent stocking stuffer (for those with strangely-shaped feet). / We're playing for an Arctic Cat Z 440 LX snowmobile. It's a 431 cc, 50 HP model, with tuned pipe and canister exhaust. / Tonight, a 6-pound, 12-ounce can of Dunbar® yams is getting wet. / Paul and Dave agree it will sink. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It sinks!

    The Lost Episode - 12/03/04

    The Will It Float? taped for this date was not aired. The show ran long. In addition, the producers forgot that Alan Kalter was killed during CBS Mailbag by way of a pesky short in his microphone. Actually, Alan wasn't just killed. He was vaporized. Hopefully his survivors will get a discount from the undertakers. Surely some funeral parlor in the Tri-City area offers a "no carcass" funeral discount. Since the episode wasn't aired, and there is no official record of guesses by Dave and Paul, this lost episode won't be counted, and the guesses won't be figured into Dave's and Paul's percentages.

    Here's a recap, swiped from the Wahoo Gazette: The item was a 22-ounce plastic container of baby powder. The phantom contestant was playing for a good one this time: a Sony® 42" high-definition XS Plasma Wega Television! We don't know our stars' guesses, but we do know that the baby powder floated.

  107. 12/17/04
    It was a very fine episode tonight. / Dave shows the home game. It has everything contained in one box, so you can have just as much fun at home as we do every Friday night in the Ed Sullivan Theater. It's the perfect stocking stuffer (if you have strangely-shaped feet). / Alan reveals that we're playing for a cheese log. "We're NOT playing for a cheese log," Dave replies. "Yes we are, Dave," Alan insists. "Make something up, Alan," Paul screams from stage right. "Alright. What... then what is the item?" Dave inquires. "It's a cheese log," Alan repeats. "No, it can't be. The item that we're floating or sinking cannot be the item we're playing for!" Dave insists. "OK, then, we're playing for a monkey," Alan says. (We see the usual "monkey" picture... unmistakably a chimpanzee. / Dave says that with all that fat, it's got to float. / Paul says it will sink. / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / It sinks! / Dave concludes tonight's episode by observing, "I've said it before. I'll say it to the day I die. Many, many, many countries around the world, there is a videotape shortage. But here in the United States, we have no problem wasting it."

  108. 1/07/05
    Dave shows the home game, which was the #1 party hit during the holidays. / We're playing for a brand new snowmobile. / Tonight's experimental item is a pan of lasagna (homemade by Alan, in a glass dish, three pounds). / Dave says sink. / Paul says sink. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Hi Ho babes Valerie Jean and ? on float tank duty / It sinks, quickly and efficiently.

    1/14/05: Dave announces that Will It Float? is being replaced with Antique or Junk? After the first episode, he says he hated it, so there is hope. Dave observes that with Will It Float? there was always the suggested possibility that someone might get in the tank.

  109. 1/14/05
    Dave shows the home game, and says they can't discontinue "Will It Float?" because they've had this prop made up. / Alan announces that for this game we're playing for a different monkey! / Tonight's item is an antique lamp, c. 1915, valued at $1200. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / Paul says sink. Dave says sink. / It sinks! ... Tonight's Act 5 Audience Pan announces an Internet vote. We can all weigh in on whether to continue Will It Float? or go with Antique or Junk?

  110. 1/21/05
    Dave shows the home game. / Dave has a lengthy commentary on the past and the future of Will It Float? Last week, when our favorite segment was almost replaced by "Antique or Junk?," Dave announced a web site poll. / Outcome: WIF?: 6,072 (83%) and A or J?: 1,259 (17% of the votes) / Tonight's item is a 50-pound plastic sack of yellow popcorn kernels. / We're playing for a Casio® keyboard. ... Dave and Paul say float. / It floats, but in a later bumper, the sack seems to be at the bottom of the tank. We're recording a float for tonight's experiment. / After a commercial, Dave proclaims Will It Float? is "the one thing that sets us apart from everything in the world."

  111. 2/04/05
    Dave shows the home game. / We'll experiment on a 15-ounce jar of Cheez Whiz®. We're playing for a Vespa® scooter. / Paul says float. Dave says float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / As Dave said, "It sank like a lead sinker!" "But who cares," Paul proclaims, while gazing at the babes. Dave, horrifying the nice people at Kraft®, repeatedly refers to the contents as "goo," and says it if were actually cheese, it would have floated. "It has more Whiz than cheese," he concludes. Dave then checks with Barbara Gaines to see if someone can scoop the goo out of the jar to see what it will do... which brings us to the second Will It Float? of the evening...

  112. 2/04/05
    In the follow-up game, Alan says we're playing for a different Vespa® scooter! / The scrim rises. The babes are in place. / Dave and Paul didn't officially guess, so I'm not counting this in their win-loss percentages. / Andrea Sande scoops out a big glob of goo and dumps it. It sinks! / Dave calls for another test on real cheese. Stay tuned.

  113. 2/04/05
    We're at it again. The babes are in place. Andrea has about three Kraft® American cheese singles. She dumps 'em, and they go straight to the bottom. No official guesses were recorded for this test, either.

  114. 2/11/05
    Dave shows the home game... now only $25. / Tonight's item is a 5-pound Hershey® bar. It's the milk chocolate version, wrapped in the usual foil and paper. / We're playing for a Broyhill® dining room set! / Paul says sink. Dave says float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It sinks like a 5-pound candy bar!

  115. 2/18/05
    Dave shows the home game, which has come down in price since the holidays (now $5 to $6). / Tonight's item is a package of 100 Memorex® CD-R recordable CDs. / Dave says float. Paul says sink. / Alan, as Korean dictator Kim Jong Il, reveals that we're playing for a home entertainment system. / Anna Jack on hula hoops and Kiva Kahl on grinder / Andrea Sande and ? on float tank / It floats!

  116. 2/25/05
    Dave shows the home game ($30 this week). / Tonight we're treated to a peek inside the home game box. Included is an 8.5" x 11" piece of paper with a list of things that can be tried in a float tank. / We'll be dunking a five-string banjo. / We're playing for snow tires. / Paul says sink. Dave says sink. / Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It sinks!

  117. 3/04/05
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight's experiment involves a 5-liter box of Almaden® chablis wine. The wine is in a plastic bag in the cardboard box. / Paul says float. Dave says float. / We're playing for a ski weekend in Lake Tahoe. / Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / It floats!

  118. 4/01/05
    Dave shows the home game... still an excellent stocking stuffer. / Tonight's item will be items, namely about 200 big ass gum drops in a bowl; however, the bowl will not go in. / We're playing for a big screen TV. / Dave and Paul both vote float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / They sink! / Wait a minute. The bowl went in accidentally. Has the bowl trapped all the gumdrops? Everything grinds to a halt for a few seconds as we come to grips with this information. / After the Top Ten list, Dave asks Gaines if we can have a do-over, and Gaines gets on the phone.

  119. 4/01/05 DO-OVER
    We have no set-up or votes because there's only thirty seconds left before the Late Late Show. The gum balls (only) are dumped in, and they set on the bottom like little rocks.

  120. 4/15/05
    Dave shows the home game, mumbling the usual plug. / Our item is an 8-lb., 4-oz. can of Polaner's® Mint Jelly. / We're playing for a speed boat! / Paul says float. Dave says sink. / Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, Andrea Sande and Valerie Jean on float tank / It sinks!

  121. 4/29/05
    Dave shows the home game, which he accidentally calls the "Will It Home Float game." We all enjoy a big laugh after that. / We're playing for a Toyota RAV-4. / Our experiment will be on a 40-pound bag of all-purpose fertilizer, in a plastic bag. / Paul says float. Dave says float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, Andrea Sande and ? on float tank / It sinks! / Afterwards, Paul works blue when he says, "It sank like a bag of _ _ _ _!" (Put in your own fertilizer synonym here.)

  122. 5/06/05
    Dave shows the home game, which he claims will be given away tonight. / A German chocolate cake is going in the tank. / We're playing for a fishing boat. / Dave says sink. Paul says sink. / Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty / German chocolate cake floats!

  123. 5/13/05
    Dave shows the home game. / We're dunking a Cuisinart® 8-cup Rice Cooker. / Dave says float for no special reason. He's missed the past three weeks. Paul says sink. / We're playing for an above-ground pool. / The scrim rises to reveal Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, and Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty. / It floats sinks! After the Top Ten, Dave asks Barbara Gaines if we can play another round. She gives him a 90 percent chance.

  124. 5/13/05 ROUND TWO
    This time we've found a plastic bucket of all-purpose sheet rock joint compound. / Dave says sink. Paul says float. / We're playing for a snowblower! / Joint compound sinks (and fast)!

    5/20/05:  A Will It Float? was taped tonight, but was edited out after one too many root canal updates. It's not being assigned a number since it didn't air.

    5/27/05:  A Will It Float? was taped tonight, but was edited out. Hot dogs went in the tank, according to Don Giller, but I don't know the result. They'd have to sink, right?

  125. 6/10/05
    Dave shows the home game. / Alan says tonight's item is a 10-ounce glass bottle of A-1® Steak Sauce. / Dave says float. Paul says float. Bruce Kapler says sink. / We're playing for a riding mower! / Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, Andrea Sande and ? on float tank / It sinks!

  126. 6/17/05
    Dave shows the home game, available for $29.95. / Alan says tonight's item is a half gallon of Silk® soy milk in a wax paper container. / Dave says float. Then he asks Sid for an opinion, because he knows about kayaks. Sid says sink. Dave changes his vote to sink. Paul says float. / Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, Andrea Sande and ? on float tank / The soy milk heads to the bottom of the tank, then slowly rises. It floats! Dave says he won't be consulting Sid again.

  127. 6/24/05
    Dave shows the home game, which has gone up four cents to $29.99. / Alan says we're dumping a 4-gallon, 36-pound plastic tub or bucket of Mr. Pickle® sauerkraut. / Dave fusses quite a bit over his guess, being sure to remind Sid McGinnis that he led Dave astray last week. He finally goes with sink. / Paul's thinking there's air in that bucket somewhere, and he goes with float. / The scrim rises and we see Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, and Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty. / The bucket takes a dive, then floats!

  128. 7/01/05
    Dave shows the home game... perfect for the kids to play this summer. It's dropped in price a ten spot this week, to $19.95. / We're testing a 10.8-ounce plastic squeeze bottle of Hawaiian Tropic® sun tan lotion. / After his recent mishaps with plastic product containers with air in them, Dave doesn't hesitate. "Float," he says. Paul agrees. / We're playing for a brand new patio furniture set. / The scrim rises and we see Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, and Andrea Sande and ? on float tank duty. / It floats!

  129. 7/01/05 ROUND TWO
    With no set-up or guesses, Andrea Sande and ? dump the toy go cart into the float tank. It sinks fast. The sunken go cart brand name is pixelated out when shown under the credits.

  130. 7/22/05
    The holidays are just around the corner, so Dave shows the home game, now back up 5¢ to $20. / Alan says we're playing for a brand new above-ground pool. / Tonight's item is a 5-quart plastic bucket of strawberry gelato. Gelato has whole milk and sherbet, Alan thinks. According to the dictionary, gelato is an Italian ice cream with almost no air and is thereby denser than other ice creams. / Dave and Paul think it will float. Everybody tries to figure out how many pounds five quarts equal. Gaines doesn't know. If it were pure water, the answer would be 10 pounds (according to my calculation), but this has no bearing on flotation, because density—not weight—is the critical factor. Anyway, back to the show... Dave now decides it's going to sink. / The scrim comes up to reveal Anna, Andrea, Kiva and ?. / Gelato floats!

  131. 7/29/05
    Dave shows the home game. / We're playing for a brand new gazebo! Dave says the New York Times recently did a poll on what people would like. #1 was world peace. #2 was a gazebo. / We're dunking a 1-liter (glass) bottle of refined linseed oil. / Dave says float. Paul says float. The CBSO members appear to say sink. Paul changes to sink, because he thinks linseed oil is denser than water. Dave stays with float. / The scrim rises to reveal Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, and Andrea Sande and ? on float tank. / It sinks! — After the Top Ten, Dave comments that the only downside of the WIF home game is you don't get the smell of grinding, burning metal. He also reports that producer Justin Stangel has suggested changing the name to "Will It Sink?"

  132. 8/05/05
    Dave shows the home game, which is ideal for back-to-school. / Dave announces that "Will It Float?" has been determined to be the most popular segment in the history of television. / The Hi Ho babes will be dunking a 12.4-ounce tube of Pillsbury® Cinnamon Rolls. (Nothin' says lovin' like something from the oven, and Pillsbury® says it best. But I digress.) / Dave thinks about how past servings of Pillsbury® products have set in his tummy, and quickly votes sink. Paul says sink. / We're playing for a kayak. / Anna Jack, Kiva Kahl, Andrea Sande and ? are in place. Sparks are flying. / It floats! / Dave's a little discouraged, and mutters, "If you take the goo out of the tube, then it will sink."

  133. 8/12/05
    Dave shows the home game. / We'll dunk a 1-gallon jug of Palmolive® dishwashing liquid. / "It's all about the container," Dave says. He's sure it will float. Paul says it will float. / We're playing for a rolling backpack. / The scrim rises. Anna, Kiva, Andrea and Ruté are in place. / It floats!

  134. 9/02/05
    Dave shows the home game, just in time for the holidays. / The Hi Ho babes have a 25-pound plastic bag of Scott's® Turf Builder™ grass seed (contractor's all-purpose mix). / Dave quickly decides it will float. Paul says it will sink. / Alan says we're playing for $500,000 worth of gold. (no photo available) / Kiva, the grinder girl, is not here tonight. / Anna Jack's on hula hoops, but she won't deliver the scent of burning metal that Dave loves so much. / Just as Andrea Sande and Ruté are about to dump the bag o' seed, Dave says it will sink, but rules that it's too late to change his mind. Paul says sink. / It floats!

  135. 9/08/05
    We're surprised with a rare Thursday "Will It Float?" / Dave shows the home game. / We're playing for $500,000 in gold bullion or a John Deere® tractor. / Tonight's flotation device is a BabolaT® tennis racket... the kind Andy Roddick uses. This unknown name leads to quite a bit of discussion, and a follow-up after the commercial, when we learn that the company is named for Pierre Babolat. Also, the company uses the stuck-up spelling racquet. / Dave says float. Paul says sink. / Kiva, the Grinder Girl, is on a week-long gig in Nevada, at some kind of alternative lifestyle gathering, so the Late Show bear is subbing in with a hula hoop. Anna Jack has her usual collection of hula hoops. Andrea Sande and Ruté are on float tank duty. / It floats!

  136. 9/15/05
    Well... Thursday "Will It Float?" episodes were rare. At this writing we don't know why shows were flipped again this week. / Dave shows the home game, then claims some foundation has commended "Will It Float?" as the single most popular segment ever seen on television. / Our experiment is on a familiar 12-ounce bottle of Pepto Bismol® tummy medicine. / Instantly, both Paul and Dave announce it will float. / We're playing for $500,000 worth of gold or a Bowflex®. / Anna Jack's on hula hoops (with a new over-and-under-her-arms trick) and Kiva Kahl's back on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / It floats!

  137. 9/23/05
    Dave shows the home game, now under $30. / time out for tape of Gaines crawling on the set to retrieve a blue card / Our test item tonight is lime Jell-O®. It's very green, and it's been removed from the mold it set up in. / Dave says float. Paul says sink. / We're playing for $500,000 in gold, or a Big Beef Dinner. / Anna Jack, Kiva Kahl, Ruté and Andrea Sande are in place. / It sinks!

  138. 10/07/05
    Dave shows the home game and mumbles the pitch for it. / He points out that some people have called for the end of the segment, but when word gets out, people start writing in, especially clergy and educators. / Tonight's item is a 32-ounce bottle of Liquid-Plumr®. Alan says the bottle is a composite of rubber, plastic and corduroy. / Dave and Paul immediately guess float. / The girls are all in place. / It sinks! / We were playing for $500,000 in gold.

  139. 10/14/05
    Dave shows the home game, this week making it all the way through the plug for the home game as a holiday gift item. / Our item is a large case of Dubble Bubble® bubble gum, in a cardboard box, sealed with tape. / Paul says sink. Dave says float. / The scrim rises. Anna Jack, Ruté, Andrea and Kiva are in place. / It floats!

  140. 10/21/05
    Dave shows the home game, a perfect stocking stuffer if you have a box-shaped foot. / Dave goes into a rant about the early reception of WIF. "Many area periodicals mentioned how badly it sucked, and how much people hated it, and that it heralded the end of society... I defended it with every fiber of my being," he says. "But through it all, I would hear from the little boys and the little girls... academicians and clergymen." Paul eventually has to cut him off with, "David, David, David... we're on television." Now Dave is sick and tired of "Will It Float?" and everyone else loves it. He continues, "Now there's another problem. Normally we have the hula hoop girl and the two lovely 'Will It Float?' models... the tank girls, and Kiva, the grinder girl." Her attendance record has become spotty. She's in Albuquerque tonight, at a bartenders' promotional party, being breathed on by drunks. / Alan says tonight's item is 2,000 paint balls in a plastic tub. / Dave and Paul say float. / We're playing for $500,000 worth of gold. / The scrim rises. Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Andrea and Ruté are in place. Valerie Jean is on bubbles duty. / It floats! / We're all relieved when Dave announces he's just learned that Kiva has committed to six months straight. — Later, Dave reads letters of testimonial for "Will It Float?"

  141. 11/04/05
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight we're dumping 24 caramel apples, individually, smothered in caramel, with peanuts stuck to the caramel. / Dave and Paul both say float. / We're playing for $500,000 in gold. / The girls are in place. Kiva's back. / They float!

  142. 11/11/05
    Dave shows the home game, a perfect stocking stuffer if you have box-shaped feet. / Alan says tonight's item is a 128-ounce container of ranch dressing. Now, if we've learned one thing from three-plus years of "Will It Float?", it's that the container is a major factor. Dave wonders what it is. Alan isn't sure. He says it's probably plastic. It's a polymer of some kind. / Dave says float. Paul goes off on a tangent, reporting that ranch dressing is a migraine trigger. He eventually says float. / We're playing for $500,000 in gold. / The scrim rises. The girls are all in place. / It floats!

  143. 11/18/05
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight's experiment is on a case of Mott's® applesauce... six 48-ounce glass jars, shrink-wrapped in plastic. / Dave says sink. Paul says sink. / We're playing for $500,000 in gold! / The scrim rises, and Anna, Kiva, Andrea and Ruté are in place. / It sinks!

  144. 12/02/05
    Dave shows the home game, which is perfect for the holidays. / Tonight we're testing a 7-pound, 4-ounce can of Globe® cherry pie filling. The contents have no fat. / Paul thinks it will sink. Dave thinks it will float, because canned stuff usually does. / The scrim rises and the girls are all in place. / It sinks!

  145. 12/16/05
    Dave shows the home game. / Tonight we'll be dampening a case of 75 Chapstick® tubes. They'll go in the water individually. Dave wonders why we need to experiment with all 75. He thinks two or three should do it. / We're playing for a trip to Acapulco! / Dave says float. Paul says float. / Anna Jack, Kiva Kahl, Andrea Sande and Ruté are in place. / They float!

  146. 1/06/06
    Dave is happy to report that over the holidays, the home game brought in the tidy sum of $1,000,000,000. / We're experimenting with a 32-ounce plastic container of Mop & Glo®. / Paul says sink. Dave says float. / Anna Jack is on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl is on grinder, and Andrea Sande and Ruté are on float tank duty. / It floats! / Dave asks Kiva why she wasn't grinding. Apparently her contract doesn't include a speaking part, so Kiva gestures that her grinder isn't working. A stagehand then brings out a substitute grinder, which Kiva fires up successfully.

  147. 1/13/06
    Dave shows the home game, boasting that one billion units were moved over the holidays. / He reminds us that almost from the beginning, people hated "Will It Float?" As the years have gone by, Dave says he's become indifferent about the segment. Well, earlier this week, a gentleman from an orphanage contacted Dave to let him know that while the orphans usually go to bed early, they get to stay up late on Fridays for WIF. Dave puts the North American viewing public at ease by announcing that WIF will be continued for the orphans. / "We're playing for a brand new log splitter," Alan says. / The item destined for the pure Rocky Mountain spring water in the WIF tank is a one-gallon jug of Grandma's Molasses. It's a plastic jug. / Paul says float. Dave says float. / The girls are all in place. Kiva's grinder is working perfectly this Friday. / It sinks! / After the Top Ten list, Dave reads bogus, heartwarming e-mails from delighted WIF viewers.

  148. 2/03/06
    Dave shows the brand new "Will It Float?" for your XBOX®. / Alan informs us that we'll be testing a pair of Dr. Scholl's® Massaging Gel Insoles (removed from the package). / Dave immediately says float. We're playing for a hot air popcorn popper. Paul says float. / The scrim rises. Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl's on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / They float! / Later, Dave reads a heated e-mail from John Madden, who insists that he has nothing to do with "Will It Float?"

  149. 2/10/06
    "Will It Float? TRAVEL EDITION" / Dave shows a Travel Edition home game and "Will It Float?" for your XBOX®. / Tonight's episode comes to us from Marineland in St. Augustine, Florida. / We'll be experimenting with a 2-lb. 3-oz. Dustbuster®. / We're playing for a fishing boat! / Dave immediately says float. Paul says sink. / The girls are all in place beside a round swimming pool down in Florida. / It floats!

  150. 2/17/06
    "Will It Float? TRAVEL EDITION" / Dave shows a Travel Edition home game and "Will It Float?" for your XBOX®. / Tonight's episode comes to us from the Borgata Hotel, Casino & Spa in Atlantic City, New Jersey. / Pitt boss Dean Carapola is on hand to supervise the experiment. / We'll be tossing in a leather office chair. / Dave says float (after some coaching from Dean). Paul says sink. We're playing for a trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico! / Anna Jack's on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl's on grinder duty, and Andrea Sande and Ruté are on "float tank" duty at poolside. / It floats!

  151. 2/24/06
    "Will It Float? TRAVEL EDITION" / Dave shows the Travel Edition home game and "Will It Float?" for your XBOX®. / Our travels take us to the Playboy Mansion in Beverly Hills, California. / We'll be testing an Ionic Breeze™ air purifier. / Dave immediately says float. / We're playing for an outdoor hot tub! / Guess who's joining us as a chaperone tonight? Yes, it's Hugh M. Hefner himself! / Hugh, after consultation with his ladies, says sink. Paul also says sink. Anna Jack, Kiva Kahl, Andrea Sande and Ruté are ready to go. / It sinks.

  152. 3/03/06
    "Will It Float? TRAVEL EDITION" / Dave shows the home game and the version for your XBOX®. / Tonight's episode comes to us via satellite from the Trump Tower at 5th Avenue and 56th St. in New York. / We're playing for a Toyota RAV4. / We'll experiment with two (2) vendor cases of Breath Savers®. / Dave says float. Paul says float. — Anna Jack is on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl is on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté are ready to go. / They float! / This wasn't an especially dramatic presentation. Afterward, Dave wonders who picks the experimental items. We don't get a straight answer.

  153. 3/31/06
    Dave shows the home game and the XBOX® version. / We're playing for a Dyson® vacuum cleaner. / Up for testing tonight is a 111-oz. can of Redpack Fancy Tomato Paste. — Paul says float. Dave says sink. / The girls are in place, but Andrea's away today. / It sinks!

  154. 4/14/06
    Dave shows the home game... ideal for your kids, and the new XBOX® version. / We're playing for a home entertainment system. / Tonight we'll be dampening a deluxe ultrasonic jewelry cleaner & tarnish remover. (It's plastic, but Dave and Paul don't know this.) / Dave says sink and Paul agrees. / The scrim rises and the girls are in place. It's nice to see Andrea Sande back at tankside. / It floats!

  155. 4/28/06
    Dave shows the home game, and the new XBOX® version. / Earlier today, Jude Brennan told Dave about float tanks in ancient days, used to see if people were innocent or guilty. Floating meant they were guilty. / We're dumping a 4-lb., 8-oz. plastic jar of sweet and sour sauce. / Dave and Paul both say float. / We're playing for a new hybrid car! / The girls are in place. / It sinks!

  156. 5/05/06
    Dave shows the home game and the XBOX® version. / We'll be dumping a bean and cheese burrito. / Dave says float. Paul says sink. / We're playing for a Razor® scooter. / Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl's on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / It floats! / After commercial, Dave delivers a bulletin: The burrito has sunk, and he declares that Paul, who predicted a sinking, has won.

  157. 5/12/06
    Dave shows the home game and the XBOX® version. / We'll be dumping a Web® oil filter. / Dave says it will float at first, but it will absorb water and eventually sink. / We're playing for a Samsung® radio. / Paul agrees with Dave that the filter will eventually sink. / Dave disqualifies himself, and then Paul does, too, so nothing will be counted in the all-time percentages at the top of the page. / Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl's on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / It floats! / with closing credits: a shot of the oil filter, still floating

  158. 5/26/06
    We're playing for a paintball gun. / Tonight we're testing a glass jar of B & G Sweet Cherry Peppers. / Dave says sink. Paul says sink. / Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl's on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / It sinks!

  159. 6/09/06
    Dave shows the home game and the XBOX® version. / We're testing a 97-ounce can of Grand Crest® evaporated milk. Dave and Paul have a discussion over just what evaporated milk is. Is it a powder? Paul believes it's goo, and votes sink. Dave says sink. / We playing for a ping pong table! / The girls are in place. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / It sinks!

  160. 6/16/06
    Dave shows the home game and the XBOX® version. / Our item is an inflatable pool in its original packaging (cardboard). The pool comes with a DVD player. / Dave says float (and he doesn't care). Paul says sink. / We're playing for a Dodge Hi Ho! / The girls are in place. / It floats!

  161. 6/30/06
    Dave shows the home game and the XBOX® version. / Our item is a big one tonight: a 50-pound plastic bucket of Pool Brand® chlorinating tablets. / We're playing for his and hers hammocks, Alan announces. / Dave says sink. He thinks the bucket will float at first, but will eventually take on water. Paul says float. / Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl's on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / It floats! / Dave's holding firm on his theory, and calls for another check later on. / back to the "Will It Float?" tank: The bucket is now resting on the bottom. — after commercial, Dave reads a "Will It Float?" testimonial e-mail: "Dear Dave. I was in an accident and fell into a coma. Doctors said I actually passed away. They tried everything, but to no avail. Then someone put 'Will It Float?' on the television in my room. According to those in the room, I sat up and said, 'It floats!' I am alive, thanks to you and 'Will It Float?' " - Kyle Helm, Thornwood, New York. — Act 5: chlorine gas fumes surrounding the "Will It Float?" tank

  162. 7/14/06
    Dave shows the home game (now $30) and the XBOX® version. / Tonight we'll test a folded roll of synthetic grass carpet. / We're playing for a Tempur-Pedic® bed! / Dave says float. Paul says float, but eventually sink, so we're counting sink as his vote. / The girls are in place. Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl's on grinder. Andrea Sanda and Ruté have float tank duty. / It floats! — After commercial, Dave reads an e-mail that just came in from Alex Fuller of Hartford, Connecticut, "Every Friday, the kids and I look forward to playing "Will It Float?" along with you. Tonight your announcer gave bad information, to cause my young children to guess incorrectly. Now they're in their rooms crying. Damn you, David Letterman."

  163. 7/21/06
    Dave shows the home game (now $40) and the XBOX® version. / Tonight we're tossing Scott's Turf Builder® Grass Sod (in a 20-pound plastic bag). / Dave says sink. Paul says float. / We're playing for an all-expense-paid trip to Los Cabos, Mexico. / more "Fun Facts" / The girls are ready to go. / It floats!

  164. 7/28/06
    Dave shows the home game and XBOX® version. / Our item is a 1-¼-gallon jug of GoJo® Natural Orange Pumice hand cleaner, in plastic. / We're playing for a hot tub. / Dave says float. Paul says sink float. / The girls are in place. / It floats!

  165. 8/18/06
    Dave shows the home game, which is $40 this week, and the XBOX® version. / We're dunking a one-gallon plastic bottle of Purex® fabric softener. / Dave says float. Paul says float. / The girls are ready. / It floats!

  166. 8/25/06
    We're experimenting with a big ball of Play-Doh®. / Dave says sink. Paul says float. / We're playing for a Sea Hunt Escape 175 powerboat. / Dave approaches the float tank and drops the "Doh." / It sinks!

  167. 9/01/06 Dave shows the home game, now reduced to $29.95, and the XBOX® version. / Barbara Gaines is subbing for Alan. She says our item is a box of Hefty® twist tie leaf bags. / We're playing for a Vespa scooter. / Paul says sink. Dave says float initially, then sink in 10 minutes. He goes over and dumps the item. / George Clarke is on grinder duty for Kiva. / Act 5: The WIF Hefty bags are still floating near the end of the show.

  168. 9/15/06
    Dave shows the home game and XBOX® version. / Tonight we're testing a 25-pound container of Lubenet® multipurpose grease, in plastic. / Paul says sink. Dave is uncertain, but says sink. / We're not sure what we're playing for. / The girls are all in place, but Dave goes over to dump the grease. / It floats.

  169. 9/29/06 Dave shows the home game and the Travel Edition XBOX® version. He also shows a pirate version, "Will It Sink?" / We'll be dunking a 50-pound paper bag of limestone all-sports field marker. / We're playing for a brand new robot! / Dave says sink. Paul says sink (sort of). / Andrea Sande, Ruté, Anna and Kiva are in place. / It sinks! (Paul never actually said float or sink, so he won't be included in the totals above.)

  170. 10/06/06
    Dave shows the home game, XBOX® version and Travel Edition. He warns us to stay away from the pirate version, "Will It Sink?" / A Swiffer Sweeper® (still in the box) (approx. three pounds) is going underwater. / We're playing for a moped! / Dave says float. Paul says float. / Paul wants to check it later, but Dave vetoes that. / It sinks!

  171. 10/13/06
    Dave shows the home game, Travel Edition and XBOX® version. / Alan says tonight's item is a 19-ounce can of Campbell's® Chunky Beef Barley soup. / We're playing for a hot tub. / Dave says sink. Paul says float. / Andrea Sande and Ruté are on float tank duty. Anna Jack is on hula hoops, and Kiva Kahl's on grinder. / It sinks.

  172. 10/27/06
    Dave shows the home game. / Our item is nine pounds of lox (in cellophane). / Dave says float. Paul says sink. / We're playing for a trip to Tahiti! / Andrea Sande and Ruté are ready to go, with Anna Jack and Kiva Kahl. / Dave comes over and dumps the lox. / It sinks!

  173. 11/10/06
    Dave shows the home game. It's a big box with a list of items you can throw in water. / Our item is a 6 ½-pound slab of fudge. The fudge isn't wrapped. / We're playing for snow tires. / Andrea Sande and Ruté are on float tank duty. Anna Jack's on hula hoops, and Kiva Kahl's on grinder. / Dave says sink. Paul says sink. It sinks!

  174. 11/17/06
    Dave shows the home game, just right for the holildays. The home game is a box with a list of things you can put in water. / Tonight we're dumping a one-gallon plastic jug of Karo® syrup. / Dave says sink. Paul says float. / We're playing for a brand new set of tools. / Andrea Sande and Ruté are on float tank duty. Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl's on grinder duty. / It sinks!

  175. 11/24/06
    Dave shows the home game and the Will It Float Playstation 3. / We're dumping a 6-lb., 12-oz. can of whole yams. It's a metal can... 108 oz. / Dave says sink. Paul says sink. / We're playing for a brand new waterbed. / The girls are ready to go. / It sinks!

  176. 1/05/07
    Dave shows the home game. / Alan Kalter (TV's Uncle Jerry) says we're playing for an outdoor hot tub! / Tonight's flotation experiment involves carrot cake. It's a sheet cake, and unwrapped. / There's quite a discussion between Dave and Paul over this one. Dave continues to point out that he thinks carrots float, as if that determines the buoyancy of cake made from carrots. At one point, Dave removes himself from the competition, but he jumps back in. / Paul says sink. Dave says sink float. / Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl is on grinder. Ruté and ? have float tank duty. / It floats! / Two or three times through the rest of the show, we have bumpers with flotation updates. The cake continues to float to the end.

  177. 1/19/07
    Dave opens the home game box. It contains a list of things you can test, and a bottle of water. / Alan Kalter, TV's Uncle Jerry, tells us we're dumping a 7" x 7", seven-pound glob of marzipan. / We're playing for a brand new snow blower! / Dave says float. Paul says float. / Anna Jack's on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl is on grinder, Andrea Sande and Ruté are on float tank duty. / It sinks!

  178. 2/02/07
    Dave says, "People loathe this segment," but says the home game was the #1-selling holiday toy item in 2006. / Alan Kalter (TV's Uncle Jerry) informs us that tonight's item is 30 pounds of guacamole. Just for fun, Alan doesn't pronounce it gwah-kuh-moh-lee, but gwah-kuh-MOLE, like that varmint that digs up your yard. Alan gets in trouble with Dave, but he insists that's how he's going to say it. The guacamole's in a 2-foot-wide glass bowl that's 8 inches high. / Dave and Paul get into quite a discussion on their predictions. Paul correctly points out that buoyancy will depend on whether or not the bowl is placed on the water upright, and whether or not water laps in. Paul wants to qualify his guess. Dave makes him commit, but he agrees to go over to the tank and place the bowl upright himself. Paul says float. Dave says sink. / We're playing for a massage chair, by the way. / Anna Jack is on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl is on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté are on float tank duty. / Dave places the bowl. It floats! / Dave protests, as the bowl turns out to be plastic instead of glass. Of course, experienced "Will It Float?" players know that this makes no difference whatsoever.

  179. 2/09/07
    Dave shows the brand new outer space version of the "Will It Float?" home game. / Alan Kalter (TV's Uncle Jerry) says our item is a three-liter can of extra virgin olive oil (sealed). / Dave starts out by observing that oil floats on water. At first he thinks it will float, then decides it will sink. Because of Dave's comment about oil floating on water, Paul believes it will float, and Dave returns to his thought that it will float. / We're playing for a Mini Cooper. / Anna Jack, Kiva Kahl, Ruté and Andrea Sande are ready. / It floats!

  180. 2/16/07
    Dave shows the "Will It Float?" home game. / Alan Kalter (TV's Uncle Jerry) says our item is a five-pound soft plastic container of Sta-Put® plumber's putty. / Dave says sink float. Paul says sink. / We're playing for a speedboat. / Anna Jack, Kiva Kahl, Ruté and Andrea Sande are ready. / It sinks like a brick!

  181. 3/02/07
    We seem to be in a hurry tonight. There's no home game demonstration, and virtually no discussion of bouyancy. / We're playing for a llama. / Alan Kalter (TV's Dr. Sloan) says the item is a 10-pound plastic tub of cheddar cheese spread. / Dave says float. Paul says sink. He says heavy cheese spread, the way it feels in your stomach, has to sink. A videotaped President George W. Bush says, "It does not float." / The scrim comes up. Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl is on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / It sinks for a second, then comes back up and floats. The big "Will It Float" party is still on.

  182. 3/30/07
    Hi. How have you been? Almost a month has passed since our last experiment. / Dave shows the home game. / Alan (TV's Commissioner Rizzo) says our item is a paper shredder. We're playing for four days and four nights in Cozumel, Mexico. / Dave and Paul immediately say sink. Dave subsequently changes his guess to float. President George W. Bush says, "It does not float." / Anna Jack is on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl is on grinder. Ruté and Andrea Sande have float tank duty. / It floats! / As the CBSO plays us out of the segment, Paul interrupts to point out a major development, "It has sunk!"

  183. 4/20/07
    Dave shows the home game, reminding us that, "It's everything contained in one cardboard box so you can have just as much fun at home with your family as we do every Friday night in the Ed Sullivan Theater." He goes on, "I can't tell you how many times people come up to me - usually on the staff - and say 'we just hate Will It Float?' It's really despised. And I say, 'alright, thanks for your opinion.' " / Alan Kalter (TV's Little Jimmy) says tonight's test item is a DVD set of season six of Dallas. / We're playing for an above-ground pool! / Paul says sink. Dave says float. / The girls are in place: Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder, and Andrea Sande and Ruté on float tank. / It floats!

  184. 4/27/07
    Dave shows the home game, which has crept up to $36 from $19.95 since the summer of 2004. / Alan Kalter (TV's Coach Miller) says our item is a quart of Shell motor oil in a plastic bottle. / Dave, thinking of the disastrous Exxon Valdez oil spill of 1989, says float with no hesitation. Paul also says float. / We're playing for a Hummer H3. / The scrim rises. George Clarke is standing in on hula hoops, as Anna Jack is on her honeymoon. Kiva Kahl's on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / It floats!

  185. 5/25/07
    Dave reminds us that we haven't done "Will It Float?" in a long time because people hate it. "Nobody likes... I'm the only one who likes Will It... my own staff doesn't like "Will It Float?," Dave says, "And, and I say to these people, 'You're small-minded. You have no curiosity. Don't you want to know what floats? How can you go through your daily life not asking yourself, 'Do it float?' " / Alan Kalter, TV's Sgt. Hardcastle, says we're dumping a one-gallon, aluminum can of Woodlife Classic deck sealant. / We're playing for two tickets to the Broadway show, Mama Mia. / Dave says sink. Paul says sink. / The girls are in place: Anna Jack on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl on grinder and Andrea Sande and Ruté on float tank. / The can is dumped and it heads for the bottom, but then it floats!

  186. 6/08/07
    Alan Kalter (TV's Larry Monroe) says tonight's item is a gallon jug of cheap wine (in glass). / We're playing for an above-ground pool. / Dave shows the home game. / Dave says float. Paul says float. / The girls are in place, although we never got a close-up of the float tank babes, and I'm not sure if Andrea Sande was present. / It sinks!

  187. 6/15/07
    Dave shows the home game. / Alan's missing, but shows up in a suit of armor. He had another gig. / Alan Kalter (TV's Inspector Melnick) says tonight's item is a 32-ounce can of Kwik-Lite® Charcoal Lighter Fluid. / We're playing for a satellite dish. / Dave and Paul say float. / Kiva Kahl, Anna Jack, Andrea Sande and Ruté are in place. / It floats!

  188. 7/13/07
    Dave shows the home game. / Alan Kalter (TV's Sheriff Weaver) says tonight's item is a five-pound box of Miracle Gro® All-Purpose Plant Food, in a plastic container. / Paul says float. Dave says float. / We're playing for a TV! (Cue picture of an all-terrain vehicle.) / We begin to move on with the game when we sense some confusion. Barbara is near Alan at stage right, and she whispers something to Alan. Moments later, Alan cheerfully announces that, "We're playing for an ATV!!" Dave's howling with laughter by this point. / Anna Jack, Kiva Kahl, Ruté and Andrea Sande are in place. / It floats! / By this time, Dave has acquired the defective cue card, and we get a peek. / Suddenly, an unknown, stern gentleman appears from the backdrop to ask Dave how he believes "Will It Float?" went. There's quite an interrogation. I'm not sure who won. (This episode is available for download below.)

  189. 8/03/07
    Dave shows the home game. / Alan Kalter (TV's Principal Graham) says we're playing for a baby gorilla. Dave vetoes that idea. He wants no trouble from PETA. Alan decides, "We're playing for a brand new car!" / Tonight's item is a one-pound box of salt water taffy. It's in a cellophane and cardboard container. / Paul says float. Dave says float. / The girls are in place. / It floats!

  190. 8/24/07
    Dave shows the home game. / Alan Kalter (TV's Tarzan) says our item is a gallon of Roman Pro® wallpaper glue in a plastic tub. / We're playing for a new scooter! / Dave says float. Paul says float. / The girls are in place. / It sinks!

  191. 8/31/07
    Alan Kalter (TV's Jerry Harris, says our item is a gallon of tartar sauce, in plastic. / Dave says float. Paul says float. / We're playing for a rock garden! / Anna, Kiva, Andrea and Ruté are ready. / It floats!

  192. 10/05/07
    The last "Will It Float?" was on August 31. "It's no secret we were on suspension," Dave explains. / Alan Kalter (TV's Jim Rockford) says our item is a 20-pound paper bag of Iams® cat food. (It's airtight.) / We're playing for a subzero refrigerator. / Dave says float. Paul says sink. / Anna Jack is on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl is on grinder. Ruté and Andrea Sande have float tank duty. / It floats!

  193. 10/12/07
    Dave shows the home game (perfect for the holidays). / Alan Kalter (TV's Bobby Remco) says our item is a battery-powered chainsaw (plastic, not in a box). / We're playing for a car. / Paul says sink. Dave says sink. / Anna, Kiva, Ruté and Andrea are in place. / It sinks! / Dave says let's try it again with a cement block.

  194. 10/19/07
    Dave shows the home game... the perfect holiday stocking stuffer. / Alan Kalter (TV's Howie Mandel) says our item tonight is bongos. / Paul says float. Dave says float. Then our friends get into a discussion on the bongos. Paul points out that a boat can be heavy, but float. / We're playing for a Bowflex® Home Gym. / Anna Jack, Kiva Kahl, Ruté and Andrea Sande are in place. / It floats!

  195. 2/29/08
    It's been a whole third of a year since our last episode! Dave shows the home game. He reminds us that focus groups consistently show that people hate Will It Float? Dave loves it, so on we go. / Alan Kalter (TV's Judge Harvey) says our item tonight is a 30-inch cat scratching post, made of particle board and carpet. / Dave thinks it will float initially, but once the carpet takes on water, it will sink. He says float. Paul says float. / We're playing for a satellite dish. / Anna Jack, Kiva Kahl, Ruté and Andrea Sande are in place. / It floats!

  196. 3/14/08
    Dave shows the home game, which has "everything in one box there for you and your family to have just as much fun as we do every Friday night here in the theater." / Alan Kalter (TV's Howie Mandel) says it's a can of Pillsbury® Creamy Supreme cake frosting. It's not aerosol. It's just a can of cake frosting, and the can is both plastic and cardboard. It's one pound (16-ounce). / We're playing for a new motorcycle! / At this point Dave calls back an earlier joke by picking up his aged telephone to order a Rubik's cube. / Dave says float. Paul says it will float initially, but wonders if we can leave it in long enough so the cardboard will get waterlogged, and the cake mix mixes with the water and gets heavy and then sinks. Dave says we're not doing that. "Under those conditions," Paul says, "I say it will float." / Dave asks Alan if he wants to play. "Sure," Alan answers, "but I know what's going to happen. I've tested it. I was in rehearsal." Dave says Alan can't play. / The scrim rises. Anna Jack is on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl's on grinder duty. Ruté and Andrea Sande are on float tank duty. / It floats!

  197. 3/26/08
    It's an extremely rare Wednesday "Will It Float?" / Dave shows the home game. / Alan Kalter (TV's Sheriff Bradford) says we're testing a 50-pound bag of coal. It's anthracite (the harder kind), in a woven plastic bag. / We're playing for a hot tub! / Dave is confident. He says sink. Paul says sink. / Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl is on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / It sinks!]

  198. 4/04/08
    Dave shows the home game. / Alan Kalter (TV's Singing Chef) says we're testing a handheld back massager. It's plastic, with a cord, and has gel grips. / We're playing for his and her bicycles. / Dave immediately says float. It's something about the gel grips. Paul says sink. / Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl is on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / Hold everything! The minute Dave gets a look at the gadget, he changes his prediction to sink. (It's OK, since the thing hadn't hit the H2O yet.) / It sinks! / after commercial: Dave reads an e-mail from Jim Vetting, CEO of the HoMedics QuadAction Percussion Massager company: "Mr. Letterman, How dare you describe our massager as low-quality? Although, if anyone knows about low quality, it's you, fat boy!"

  199. 4/18/08
    Dave shows the home game, but doesn't mention it. / Alan Kalter (TV's Rabbi Zuckerman) says we're testing a glass brick. It's one of those clear, hollowed-out items used in construction. Alan thinks it might weigh about eight pounds. (We hopefully all know by now that that's irrelevant.) / We're playing for a dog! / The scrim rises. Anna Jack's on hula hoops. (A new development is her hoops light up.) Kiva Kahl is on grinder. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. / Dave says float. Paul says float. / It floats!

  200. 6/06/08
    Dave shows the home game, which is no longer available. / Alan Kalter (TV's Harvey Lassiter, D.D.S.) says tonight's object is a plastic bucket of wallpaper paste. It's at least 12 pounds, Alan insists. / We're playing for a hot tub!" / Dave and Paul quickly agree that it will sink. (The paste... not the hot tub, silly.) True to form with this sort of object, Dave quickly asks if it's sealed in plastic, because he fears that air inside will cause flotation. Dave says he thinks it will sink, but he's going to say it will float. He's thinking about displacement caused by air. Paul says thanks to Sir Isaac Newton, but Dave reminds him that Archimedes laid the theoretical groundwork for "Will It Float?" / The scrim rises. Andrea Sande and ? have float tank duty. Kiva Kahl's on hula hoops, and Kiva Kahl's on grinder. / It sinks!

  201. 6/20/08
    Dave shows the home game, which isn't currently available. It's sold out. That's because it came out the same day as the Grand Theft Auto IV game, and outsold it 20-1. / Alan Kalter (TV's Alan Kalter) says tonight's object is a bottle of French wine. (Alan described it with some sort of French gibberish.) / We're playing for a hammock! / Dave and Paul agree that the bottle will float. / The scrim rises. Andrea Sande and Ruté have float tank duty. Kiva Kahl's on hula hoops, and Kiva Kahl's on grinder. / It sinks!

  202. 7/25/08
    Dave shows the home game Rooftop Edition. Tonight we're witness to the premiere of the "Will It Float? Rooftop Edition." / Alan Kalter (TV's Pat Sajak) says we're dumping a Tiffany lamp. It's real. It's priceless. It has never been put in stagnant water on the roof of the theater before. There's no lead. There's no plastic. / We're playing for a brand new car! / Paul believes it will sink like a stone. Dave agrees, but he registers a float vote, just for fun. / roof cam: Anna Jack's on hula hoops. Kiva Kahl's on grinder. Ruté and Andrea Sande are on float tank duty. / It sinks! / "Will It Float?" Special Bulletin: Mike McIntee, in today's Wahoo Gazette, reveals that this episode was a do-over. Dave was unhappy with the original item, boxing headgear, so the Tiffany lamp was substituted and the episode taped after the final act. Dave's and Paul's flotation guess success percentages, shown above, are based only on aired episodes. That's my policy!

  203. 8/08/08
    Dave shows the Rooftop Edition home game. It's the second "Will It Float? Rooftop Edition" episode. / Alan Kalter (TV's Wolf Blitzer) says we're dumping a 45-ounce box of Cascade® dishwashing powder. The box is wax-treated cardboard. / We're playing for a cheese log! / Dave quickly says float. Paul, thinking out load, considers weight compared to size. He says sink. Dave says the outcome is all about displacement. / roof cam: Anna Jack's on hula hoops, Kiva Kahl is on grinder, and Andrea Sande and Ruté, in red dresses, have float tank duty. / It floats! / Afterward, Dave says he believes the box will sink later. Paul says, "At the end of the day, it will be a win-win situation." / After a commercial, Jerry has a shot of the Cascade® box at the bottom of the float tank. Dave proclaims that Paul is the winner, as he says there's no time limit on the outcome.

An object immersed in a fluid seems to weigh less than it does in air. This effect is called buoyancy. Buoyant force is always upward, because the pressure under an object is greater than the pressure above it.

Archimedes' Principle tells us that: An immersed body is buoyed up by a force equal to the weight of the volume of fluid it displaces. If a 25-pound object displaces 20 pounds of water, its apparent weight will be 5 pounds. The apparent weight of a submerged object is its weight in air minus the buoyant force. A floating object displaces a weight of fluid equal to its own weight. This is sometimes called the principle of flotation.

  1. If an object is more dense than the fluid in which it is immersed, it will sink.

  2. If an object is less dense than the fluid in which it is immersed, it will float.

  3. If an object has a density equal to the density of the fluid in which it immersed, it will neither sink nor float.

The purpose of a life jacket is to decrease a person's density by increasing volume while adding very little weight. As seen in #2 above, the person wearing the life jacket seems to be less dense, and floats more easily.

Will It Float? theme 250 KB / .mp3

Will It Float? Velveeta® cheese episode / 10 MB / February 6, 2002

Will It Float? a cantaloupe / 18 MB / February 7, 2002

Will It Float? cheese log episode / 6 MB / December 17, 2004

Will It Float? in Korean 1.8 MB / .mp3 / Feb, 17, 2005

Will It Float? episode / 12 MB / October 21, 2005

Will It Float? Travel Edition episode / 10 MB / February 24, 2006

Will It Float? troubles with an ATV and a CBS executive / 11 MB / July 13, 2007




Archimedes of Syracuse

Andrea Sande and Nadine Hennelly are the original stars of Will It Float? They have cheerfully dumped dozens of products and devices into the stagnant waters of the float tank. Andrea is a soap opera actress in her native Brazil, and is a restaurant owner in New York. She first appeared on Late Night on June 11, 1991 in "What Dave Will Be Wearing." She modeled Dave's jacket for the next program. As one of the Hi Ho babes, Andrea has welcomed TV Boy to the stage of the Ed Sullivan Theater countless times (usually in a sparkly dress, but in surgical scrubs and nurse outfits after Dave has been under the weather). Andrea has presented numerous yummy deli platters to a variety of contest losers on the premises of the Hello Deli, and countless giant, phony checks. She has almost thirteen years of glamorous appearances on the show.

Anna Jack joined the cast on November 22, 2002. While she has subbed on float tank duty, her primary role has been at stage right, operating multiple hula hoops.

Kiva Kahl joined Will It Float? on July 12, 2002. I called her the Fire Lady until I realized she is known as the Grinder Girl. She's also been called the Princess of Pyrotechnics, the Queen of Kerosene, the Goddess of Gasoline and the Empress of Explosives. Dave especially enjoys the aroma of burning metal as she sends sparks flying at stage left during the buoyancy experimentation. Kiva first appeared on the Late Show in "Is This Anything?" with a python on May 15, 2002.

Nadine Hennelly is an artist and photographer, and has left her position as one of the Hi Ho babes and Late Show models to pursue photography full time. She first appeared on the Late Show on January 7, 1993, displaying a coffee dispenser on "New on Late Night for 1993." She was in one of the "Dave with models in the park" running gags, appeared with Dave and Steve Martin in "Dave and Steve's Gay Vacation" in an Emmy-winning episode, had a role in "Sex Club Sandwich" with Rupert Jee, and first said her name on the show in an episode of "Who Asked for It?" on May 3, 1995. Will It Float? and the Late Show in general will never be the same now that Nadine has moved on. Here's Nadine's photography web site.


Nadine and Andrea on Hi Ho duty


Nadine Hennelly in Who Asked for It? 5-03-95


Andrea Sande with Biff Henderson


the "Will It Float?" tank (photo by Nadine Hennelly)


the "Will It Float?" tank, stored in the rafters backstage, 5/22/10
(photo by DDY / Click to enlarge.)