Yes, I'm starting this list a few years too late. Along with all true Late Show fans, I love to see what the three members of the CBS Orchestra's horn section (Tom "Bones" Malone, Frank Greene and Aaron Heick) will admit to next in response to Dave's rhetorical questions.

There's debate over whether all horn section members should raise their right hands to answer yes. This is both from an aesthetic point of view, and the idea of being sworn in. A development on January 18, 2013 is that southpaw Frank Greene has committed to raising his right hand. Left or right, I know we all greatly appreciate the horn section members' willingness to answer whatever ridiculous questions Dave poses in his monologues.

Any opinions offered by the horn section of the CBS Orchestra do not represent the CBS Television Network, as far as we know. If they do, it's not such a bad thing to be a submarine captain, is it?

(In fairness to Frank and Aaron, responses prior to early 2012 were made by Al Chez and Bruce Kapler.)

Dave's Question
3 of 3
6/06/05 How many take the Viagra®?
7/29/08 Are there any submarine captains in the audience?
11/17/08 Does anyone have laryngitis?
1/14/09 Anyone here ever have the bypass surgery? Nope!
2/19/09 Anyone here on 'roids?
4/20/09 Anyone here from Trinidad?
4/22/09 Anybody here ever been waterboarded?
4/23/09 Anybody here have 14 children?
7/08/09 Anyone having naughty thoughts about Sarah Palin in hip waders?
4/20/10 Anybody from Iceland?
5/03/10 Anybody from the Gulf of Mexico area?
4/13/11 Anyone here ever gotten it on with Shirley MacLaine?
6/27/11 Any gay honeymooners? (Bruce passed on this one.) 2 of 3
10/03/11 Have you seen me naked?
1/10/12 Anybody ever been pregnant?
6/25/12 Have you dated Spider-Man?
12/07/12 Seriously, be honest. How many of you are here just to see the giant couch?
1/09/13 How many of you folks ever been duct-taped?
1/09/13 Anybody have a panic room?
1/11/13 Show of hands. How many of you slept with the mayor?
1/14/13 Anybody see Downton Abbey last night?
1/18/13 How many of you, because of Lance Armstrong, are selling your bicycle?
1/18/13 How many of you are here tonight with your imaginary girlfriends?
1/29/13 I'm sick and tired of hearing about Harbaughs. We got any Harbaughs here?
2/05/13 Paul's won a Grammy. Anybody else here won Grammys?
2/12/13 Boy, the North Koreans are at it again. Any North Koreans with us tonight?
2/18/13 How many folks just here in the theater hiding from meteors?
2/26/13 Have you been following the Catholic Church situation? Do we have Catholics here?
2/26/13 Sad news from Cuba? Any Cubans here tonight? Cubans?
3/11/13 That North Korea's scary. Anybody ever been to North Korea?
3/12/13 Anybody here read the Bible?
3/12/13 Anybody stayed at the $20,000,000 Vatican guest house?
3/18/13 Anybody go to the St. Patrick's parade? How many of you attended the parade and were beaten, and now have amnesia?
3/25/13 Hey, it's tax time. How many of you gonna file your taxes... how many of you goin' to prison?
3/25/13 Tenth anniversary of the Iraqi war. Oh, my God. You know Dick Cheney... anybody know Dick Cheney?
3/26/13 Dave: "Kim Kardashian's ass." Paul: "Absolutely, a national treasure." Dave: "How many of you folks been there?"
4/01/13 I did not know this, that Justin Bieber travels with a monkey... got himself a monkey, and the German authorities didn't like the looks of the monkey, so they confiscated it. And the poor little thing was traumatized, and spittle... spittle and foam, and quivering... and lashing out at his handlers. And I'm tellin' you, the monkey was also really, really, upset. How many of you saw that one comin' down Broadway?
4/05/13 Sad news out of Germany. Justin Bieber, and I didn't realize this, travels with a monkey. How many of you knew that?
4/09/13 How many of you folks headed to rehab?
4/10/13 How many people when they were a kid, or had kids or grandkids, took the kids to the Sears® photomart... the Sears® photo gallery to have the kids' picture taken?
4/22/13 I was reading a study from the famous British medical journal, The Lancet. Anybody here have a subscription to The Lancet?
4/22/13 Ladies and gentlemen, our next guest has won 11 Olympic gold medals. How many medals you folks... anybody here? (Tom "Bones" Malone was caught off-guard, and raised his left hand.)
4/24/13 How many folks know Anthony Weiner... former Congressman from New York? You know Anthony Weiner?
4/29/13 Anybody fly on Virgin Airways... Airlines? Yeah... the horn section.
5/06/13 Anthony Weiner tweeted a photo of his zucchini. I'm so, so sorry. And also, over the weekend, Kentucky Derby. Did you enjoy the Kentucky Derby?
5/14/13 Who'd want to be president? Anybody want to be president?
5/16/13 Honestly, how many right now are thinkin', "Thank God these tickets are free?" How many of you? Be honest.
5/17/13 It's springtime... almost summertime... almost the end of school... graduation time. Any grads in the audience tonight? Any... (looking at the horn section) I don't believe it.
5/20/13 Anybody win the Powerball thing over the weekend?
5/22/13 It's the big Liberace on Sunday. Who's gonna watch the big... uh...?
6/04/13 It's graduation time, ladies and gentlemen, and do we have any grads... grads-to-be in the audience?
6/05/13 Anybody been down to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in Times Square? You ever been down there, Paul?
6/10/13 You know what yesterday was? The Puerto Rican Day Parade. Do we have... anybody here from Puerto Rico? Anybody here?
6/11/13 Anybody ever been on an airline named Spirit Airlines? You ever been on a...? You guys don't go anywhere!
6/12/13 Now we all know that our e-mails and our phone calls and our activities being monitored by the NSA. How many people bothered by that? Anybody bothered by that?
6/18/13 Heard about the Russian president? This guy... this guy's crazy, this Russian president. And I hope I don't offend any Russians in the crowd. Do we have any... have any Ruskies here?
6/20/13 These kids! Are the kids drivin' you nuts? Justin Bieber... I'd like to get my hands on this kid. I mean, it's one thing... He's a worldwide, popular star, and people love him, but he's always in trouble. I mean, a couple of months ago, he made the mistake of taki' a monkey to Germany. How many have done that?
6/25/13 The Top Ten category tonight is Questions on the Application for Asylum in Ecuador. Now, we know about this, and for one reason or another, and I'm not smart enough to know. I should know: Ecuador doesn't like us. Anybody here from Ecuador?
6/26/13 (Anthony Weiner) took some photos, and just sent 'em all over the world. Well, he had to step down. Now he's gonna be the next mayor of New York City. According to the polls, Anthony Weiner is the favorite to become... I mean, how many of you have seen the Weiner Poll?
7/08/13 By the way, any Egyptians in the audience tonight? Anybody here from Egypt? Really? I'll be darned!
7/08/13 We have new saints. Do we have any Catholics with us tonight? Catholics?
7/08/13 Big Catholic population in Egypt?
7/09/13 It looks to me like Eliot Spitzer is going to be the new comptroller of New York City. How many of you feel better knowing that he will be comptrolling things?
7/10/13 Let me talk to you a second about New York politics. Anybody here know anything about New York Politics?
7/15/13 (Edward Snowden reference) But now, for the last month, the guy's been stuck in the airport in Moscow. How many of you guys ever been stuck in an airport? For, like, a month?
7/16/13 "I mentioned that it's summer, right? There's a guy in Ohio... anybody here from Ohio? Hi, guys! I had no idea." (me: In all fairness to the horn section, they raised their hands at this point... not at the end of Dave's joke.) "A guy in Ohio has been arrested now... this is his fifth time. The police have been called to his neighbor's house because what he does, is he apparently hops into the neighbors' pool and has sex with a pool toy. So much for the Eliot Spitzer comeback."
7/17/13 Hey, how about Edward Snowden? You know who I'm talkin' about... Edward Snowden? This is the guy... worked for the NSA in Hawaii... had a stripper girlfriend, and then goes to Hong Kong... leaks a million different secrets, and now he's living at the Moscow Airport. Anybody ever spent any time at the Moscow airport?
7/18/13 I was over at St. Patrick's. Anybody over at St. Patrick's today? Try to get over there. Were you guys over there? Yeah. The nuns are having their charity bikini car wash today.
7/18/13 Maybe this has happened to you. It hasn't happened to me. You get addicted to the Internet and the computer, and you go nuts and you can't stop yourself. Anybody have that problem where they get addicted to the Internet and they can't... and you go nuts?
7/18/13 (continued from above) You know what it is... it's pornography. That's what it is. It's pornography. (hands still up)
7/18/13 Where are my Easy Cheese™ people?
7/22/13 (FX: We hear Dave's text message alert. He shudders when he sees a naked picture of Geraldo.) "It's Geraldo. How many of you got a naked picture of Geraldo Rivera on your phone?" (turning to his right) "You've got it with you, Tom?"
7/29/13 Anybody ever been over there to the French Riviera... the glamour capital of the world? The French... Paul, I'll bet you've been... horn section...
7/30/13 Boy... anybody goin' to Russia for a holiday? Anybody plannin'...?
8/22/13 Regis has a brand new show on Fox Sports. Anybody seen the brand new show... Fox Sports? The Crowd Went Wild? You guys have seen it?
8/26/13 You know who's gonna be the new Batman? Ben Affleck. Are we OK? Ben Affleck. The Republicans are vowing to block the nomination. Batman fans... Do we have Batman fans here?
8/26/13 Anybody graduate from Donald Trump University?
8/28/13 Anybody here attend Trump University? Anybody ever attend the Trump? You guys go to Trump University?
8/28/13 We had some trouble with one of our boats, down on the harbor... one of those ferries that takes you around. The ferry that goes to Liberty Island crashed. Did you hear about this? Was anyone on that ferry? Anybody ridin' on that? You guys? No kidding!? Were you on your way to Trump University?
8/29/13 You folks know about the Donald Trump University? Anybody ever been to Donald Trump University? Anybody studied at Donald Trump University? Really? You guys?
9/03/13 "Hundred dollar bills. You know, they were printin' hundred dollar bills, and there was a problem. Anybody got a hundred dollar bill on 'em?" (looking over at the horn section): "Oh, you do not have!"
9/05/13 According to reports, Syria... oh, this Syria, why don't they go away? Anybody here from Syria? (After all hands are raised, Dave says, "They do a lot of session work in Damascus."
9/06/13 Do we have anybody here from Singapore? Anybody from Singapore here? Really? The horn section. All three of you guys from Singapore? I'll be darned. I had no idea.
9/09/13 Tomorrow here in New York City is primary elections day tomorrow. How many of you tourists are in town to vote? Huh? How many of you are gonna? Glad to have you here!
9/09/13 "You know anything about the evil dictator in Syria, Bashar Al-Assad? Do you know anything about him? Anybody know him? Anybody?" (Dave turns to the horn section.) "You guys... Oh, now... now you don't know somebody!" 0 of 3
9/12/13 How many of you folks been out to buy the new iPhone? Anybody buy the new iPhone... the iPhone 5S? It's, uh... people will say, 'You know, I don't need' ... First of all, I don't need a new phone, and I sure don't need a new iPhone. Here's what I want in a phone. All I want in one of those modern phone gadgets... I want to make sure the phone can say to me, whenever I need this information, 'There are 17 liquor stores near you.'
9/23/13 "I said that I had stayed... I'd been over there... my family and I went over there... one year for my birthday, and I wanted to have like a real Parisian experience, so we stayed at the Ritz. I don't know what the Ritz is. Anybody stay at the Ritz? It's like the Paris... Oh, the horn section. You guys all were at the Ritz together?"
9/24/13 It's the annual grand opening of the U.N. Who's here for the grand opening of the U.N.? How many of you?
9/24/13 How many of you folks plannin' to go to Victoria Island? You're not going anywhere! (Jerry cut to the band too late to be sure.) ???
9/26/13 Speakin' of (Mariano Rivera) bobblehead dolls, anybody down to the harbor today? Anybody go down and see the Statue of Liberty? Did you guys go down? Look at this. Here's what. Look at this. What a crazy day. You talk about the Statue of Liberty. It's a bobblehead!
10/04/13 Mia Farrow and Woody Allen had a child together, and they named him Ronan Farrow, right? Ronan... Ronan Farrow. Now, the other day, Mia Farrow is talkin' to some magazine, and they say, "Is there a possibility... is there a possibility that the father of your child with Woody Allen is actually Frank Sinatra?" How many of you are tired of answering that question?
10/09/13 Have you ever tried to counterfeit a $100 bill?
10/11/13 Anybody signed up for the Obamacare?
10/16/13 Anybody done any Christmas shopping yet? You guys have?
10/18/13 Do you guys know anything about the Iranian space program? You guys know about the...?
10/18/13 Anybody signed up for Obamacare? Are you signed up yet?
10/30/13 Anybody tried to sign up for the Obamacare? You guys have any luck signin' up?
10/31/13 Anybody tried sign up for the Obamacare web site thing? It just... did you?... It doesn't work. I mean, they've now got it to the place where you can play angry birds, but that's as close as you can get to signing up for anything."
11/07/13 "How many people here are on crack right now? Raise your hand if you're on..."
11/08/13 "Anybody get in on that IPO of Twitter? Did you get in there and snap up some of that early Twitter stock? Did you guys? Really? You guys? Congratulations!"
11/12/13 "Anybody signed up for the Obamcare? Were you signed up? Did you try to sign up?"
11/12/13 "Do you have a 3-D printer?" (to Paul): "Why don't you have a 3-D printer but they have a 3-D printer?"
11/18/13 "Anybody here from Toronto, Canada? Anybody? Any Canadians?"
11/18/13 "How about that Obamacare? Anybody signed up for the Obamacare? I would like to sign up for the Obamacare, because honestly, I don't feel that great."
12/10/13 "You know Senator Rand Paul from Kentucky? Anybody here from Kentucky?"
12/12/13 "Hey! Congratulations to Pope Francis. Do we have a lot of Pope Francis fans? You guys?"
12/13/13 "Anybody here gonna go see those Hobbit movies over the weekend? You gonna see the big Hobbit films?"
12/19/13 "So to make all of us feel better, the White House... the president... directs the staff of chefs there at the White House... How many of you folks at home have a staff of chefs? He says, 'Here's what let's do kids, let's make a gingerbread replica of the White House. That will make the taxpayers feel better.' "
12/20/13 "You know what I like? A lot of Christmas specials. You like to watch the Christmas specials? I saw... and they may repeat this one. It was a Fox... Fox... it was a Fox News Christmas special. Did anybody see it last night? I... did you? Great! Wasn't it?"
1/16/14 "You know what yesterday was, ladies and gentlemen? Maybe some of you were on that plane that landed in the Hudson. The fifth anniversary of the U.S. Airways flight from LaGuardia to the Hudson. How many on that flight? Were you guys... the horn section? That's right. You were late for rehearsal."
2/05/14 "Hey, big weekend movie, especially if you have kids. It's called The Lego Movie. Anybody gettin' ready to go see the...? Yeah, I'll tell you somethin'. My son... uh, you boys are gonna go see it?"... The movie's not even out. My son has seen it three times."
2/17/14 "In the Olympics you always have a lot of drama. I mean, it's kids who spend all of their lives training for the Olympics, and they go all across the world, and then they showcase. There's a lot of drama, like the American speed skaters. You know what I'm talkin' about? They say that the reason their times are off in speed skating... by the way, how many speed skaters do we have?"
3/25/14 "Anybody here from the Ukraine?"
3/25/14 (A Wheel of Fortune contestant correctly guessed "new baby buggy" from two letters.) "That Pat Sajak's breakin' his back, isn't he? A hard-workin' guy. So... but anyway... two letters, and you think, 'Whoa, that's impressive,' except if you'd seen the entire show. How many of you saw the entire show?"
4/02/14 "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show. Let me ask you somethin' - and be honest - how many of you thought when I came out here, I was actually Lady Gaga, dressed as an old man. How many of you?"
4/21/14 "This happens every four or five years. A kid... 16-year-old kid, gets on an airplane, somewhere up in Northern California... San Jose, California, but he didn't really get on. He just climbed up in the landing gear. How many of you have ever done that?" (Dave raises his hand with the horn section.)
4/28/14 "How many of you were there in Rome and Vatican City over the weekend for the big saint festivities? Huh? Were you guys there? Were you workin' the gig?" (Paul's in on the fun now. He raises his hand with the horn section this time.)
5/01/14 "Anybody here from Toronto? Torontonians?"
5/08/14 during a James Franco interview: "Who here has Instagrammed a photo of themselves in their underpants?" (Paul confesses, too.)
5/16/14 "Folks like red wine? Every now and then you have a glass of red wine?"
6/02/14 "Listen to this, ladies and gentlemen. We have a brand new mayor. His name is Bill de Blasio, and he's freakishly tall. He's gigantic. He's, like, 6' 9". He's an enormous man, and he runs the most exciting city in the world, and he has now legalized... listen to this... hang on to yourselves. Well, not... You know what? Go ahead. Hang on to yourselves." (big applause from the audience) "In New York City, beginning right now, it's legal to own a ferret."
6/04/14 Anderson Cooper asks, "Are there ferret owners in the audience?"
6/25/14 "This is crazy. During the World Cup... you probably heard about this... Uruguay is playing Italy, and a Uruguayan soccer player bites an Italian soccer player. How many of you folks been bitten by a Uruguayan?"
6/26/14 "How about that Pope Francis? You down with this guy? I think that's a Biblical term. People are crazy for Pope Francis. You know what he did a couple of weeks ago? He had his service every week in the Vatican, overlooking the Vatican Square, and he said then that if you're an organized crime member, if you're in, like... do they call it the Mafia? Do they call it?..."(Paul): "No. No." (Dave): "You don't know? They don't call it that?" (Paul): "No, they don't. There is no Mafia." Dave: "There is no Mafia. Forget I said that. But let's just say you're a gangster in an organized crime family... Do we have any organized crime gang members in the... anybody here? You guys? OK."
7/07/14 "Hey, you know who went to a, uh, anybody ever go to what they call a psychic? Anybody ever go to a psychic?" (three hands up) "Was it Three-for-One day? Yeah. Kim Kardashian went to a psychic. She walks into the place, and the woman stood up and said, 'Hello, I'm clairvoyant.' And Kim said, 'Oh, hi, Claire. I'm Kim Kardashian.' But the psychic read Kim's mind, and I thought, 'Yeah, it's nice to have some light reading for the summer.' "
7/08/14 "Down in Arkansas... We have anybody here from Arkansas?" (Dave knows when it's time to look to his right, because audience peeps start giggling.) "Really? I'll be darned. Paul, did you know the horn section...?" (Paul): "I really had no idea."
7/14/14 "Anybody go see the Planet of the Apes movie? $73,000,000... people go to see the Planet of the Apes movie. It's unbelievable, and I'm not interested in goin' to see monkey movies, but it's amazing. It's in 3-D, it's in IMAX, and it is so realistic, you can barely see the zippers on the backs of the monkey suits. Fantastic!"
7/14/14 "Germany... your World Cup champions, ladies and gentlemen. Germans? Do we have any Germans here?"
7/14/14 "Anybody know anything about mules?"
7/16/14 "I mean, who hasn't had sex at Chipotle, for God's sakes?"
7/29/14 "Any of you ever been on a dating site? You ever been on a tryin' to find a...?"
7/31/14 "Anybody thinkin' about buyin' a drone? You guys? Drone shopping?"
8/20/14 "A guy in Connecticut faked his death because he got cold feet over his upcoming wedding. Tell me if you've done the same thing."
8/20/14 "How many of you wanted to fake your own death to get out of comin' here tonight? How many of you?"
8/27/14 "Anybody been on the subway? Anybody take a ride on the New York subway system?" (Dave looks over his right shoulder. Nothin'! The horn section guys must not have seen a camera on them, so apparently didn't raise their hands. Oops!) Nope!
9/02/14 Dave on the subject of a traffic jam over the weekend: "The three lanes of traffic turned to glue. It's just glue. Have you ever seen a mouse struggling for its life in a glue trap? Hands... hands. Let me see 'em! Hands."
9/03/14 "How many of you have nude photos on your cell phone or your iPad?"
9/04/14 "How many of you guys spend a lotta time takin' naked pictures of yourself? You guys?"
9/11/14 "iPhone? Anybody get the new iThing? You guys got it?"
9/11/14 "Who here has purchased a celebrity fragrance?" (Include TV's Paul Shaffer in the count on this one.)
9/22/14 "The leaves are falling, and so is the confidence in Roger Goodell. Did anybody see Roger Goodell's press conference on Friday? Did you see that? Whoa, man, it was... You guys all saw it?" It was a tough press conference. They carried the guy out on a stretcher."
9/22/14 "And yesterday there was a big demonstration about climate change. Anybody participate in the big, uh? ... Nice goin'! ... I think it worked. Today it's cooler."
9/24/14 "Anybody buy the new iPhone? Anybody get one of the new iPhones?" (Dave looked over his right shoulder, but apparently caught the boys off-guard.) 0 of 3
9/26/14 "Did you hear about this? Walmart... How many of you folks? Where are my Walmart people?
10/08/14 "Here's interesting stuff. For $37,000... $37,000, a guy... a guy purchased, from Willie Nelson, his braids. Willie removed them. A guy bought them. $37,000. This is the kind of decision you make after spending the day on Willie's tour bus."
11/14/14 "Did you hear about this? Anybody here ever been skydiving? It's crazy, right? A woman today, to celebrate..." (pause) "You guys have all been skydiving? I hope you didn't hurt your instruments."
11/24/14 "Chuck Hagel, Secretary of Defense... Who thinks Chuck Hagel is your favorite Secretary of Defense? Where are my Chuck Hagel people, huh? You guys all...?"
12/08/14 There was an interesting story in the New York Times over the weekend. And I guess we knew this, but in... if you live in North Korea. Anybody here from North Korea? ... You guys are from North Korea?! All this time..." Yeah, in North Korea, because they have the evil dictator, Kim Jong Un, even the slightest offense will get you killed. And I was thinkin', 'Wow, it's like Staten Island.' "
1/14/15 "Anyone been to Disneyland here recently? Been to Disneyland? You guys went? There's an outbreak. Be careful if you go to Disneyland... an outbreak of measles. It happened when they closed the Epcot Vaccination Center. And they have traced the disease to Donald Duck runnin' around without his pants."
1/27/15 "Hey, here's somethin', ladies and gentlemen. Hang onto somethin'. Listen to this. You go into Kentucky Fried Chicken now. You remember it used to be you'd go in there, and you'd get yourselves a big cardboard bucket of fried chicken? Oh, man, was that good! And you thought to yourself, 'This is so good. This is all you ever really need. Give me a big, cardboard bucket of fried chicken.' It was that tasty. Now you go into Kentucky Fried Chicken... they have something called the Double Down Dog. Anybody had a Double Down Dog? Have you boys? You've had the Double Down Dog? It's double the trouble to keep down, is what they're talkin' about, but... no, no. That's not my point. It's a hot dog. Let me break this down for you. It's covered in cheese, wrapped in fried chicken. He he. Yeah! I mean, honest to God, shouldn't they call it the Double Over?" (holding tummy) "Uh oh. Look out! Whoa! Oooooh!"
1/30/15 "You know what happened over the... I guess... early Sunday morning? A guy was out, I guess, flyin' a drone. You can get a drone and fly it around." (to the horn section): "You guys got em? Yeah. You."
2/03/15 set-up for Top Ten Sleep Recommendations from the National Sleep Foundation / "Who knew there was a National Sleep Foundation? Anybody go to college, and then apply for a job at the National Sleep Foundation? You guys?"
2/03/15 "Anybody familiar with Clash of Clans? The horn section? Sure!"
2/18/15 "Anybody have cholesterol problems? Everybody! You got 'em?"
3/11/15 "Listen to this. Anybody here from Utah? Really? The horn section! I'll be darned! Utah! All the way from Moab."
3/23/15 Anybody here on spring break?
4/02/15 "But I'll tell you something, and I'm guilty of this myself, but sometimes if you hear bad news, and you're right on the edge, you become hysterical. Does anybody do that? This is what's happened with Iran." (audience giggling) (Paul): "Horns, apparently." (Dave): "Look at it this way. Even if Iran has a nuclear bomb, they have to drop it from the back of a mule."
4/13/15 "Hey, you know what it is? Oh, my God! It's like two days... tax! Anybody paid their tax yet? ... I'm tellin' you. I know people... we all know people who don't pay their tax, and end up in federal prison."
4/16/15 "How many of you folks own a gyrocopter?"
4/17/15 "How many of you are possessed by demons?"
4/24/15 "Where are my ketchup people?"
5/05/15 "Ever been to a restaurant called Hooters?"
5/08/15 "How many of you saw the Grey's thing?"
5/13/15 "I'll tell you somethin', ladies and gentlemen. I don't know if we have anybody here from North Korea or not, and I..." (looks over) "Are you?"
5/15/15 Out of nowhere, Dave asks Oprah about the weed. Is she smokin' the weed? "Actually, no. I haven't smoked weed in 30 years... really." Dave's been known to participate. He tells a story about his days in the late 70s in California. Post-weed, he found himself in front of the freezer, where "I ate two pints of ice cream!" Oprah says, "For me, it was a sleeve of Oreos." Dave says, "It makes you feel dumb, smokin' the weed, you know? Made me..." (He looks up to see the horn section boys, with hands raised.) "What do you think, boys?"

"It's... I... you know... but it's always the horn section."   – David Letterman, 3/18/13