|2||NEW INTRO: "From the heart of Broadway... broadcasting across the nation and around the world, it's the Late Show with David Letterman!"|
|2||Dave presents his New Year's resolutions:|
• I hope to have a gallery showing of my clown paintings.
• I want to put all my Late Show jackets on eBay.
• Bring muffins to my yoga class.
• Speak up more at my book club.
• Call my doctor five hours after taking Viagra.
|4||Dave announces his hatred for Bruce and Linda, that he's sure Bruce has a criminal record, and should be in prison. (video)|
|4||Marv Albert presents the Year End Albert Achievement Awards. (video)|
|4||Dave's cooling on the Weekend Late Show gang.
(Dave, to Paul): "I really hate those two. I mean, in the beginning I was... and then it's the guy..." (demonstrates swaying from side-to-side) "It's with this constant thing."
(Paul): "Well, what is..."
(Dave): "I don't know, but he... he ought to be in prison, that guy."
(Dave): "You can just tell by looking' at him that he's got a warrant, and a record, and just..." (moving back and forth again)
(Paul): "Is there anything..."
(Dave): "And she hates him, she hates him, too."
(Paul): "Oh, she... oh, you can tell!"
(Dave): "She can't stand him!"
(Paul): "She's gotta work with him."
(Dave): "No. No. He took her... he took a run at that once, and she hates him!"
(Paul): "That's what happens, you see."
(Dave): "It's... just... awful!"
|6||Dave sits down with Oprah for a 43-minute, in-depth interview on Oprah's Next Chapter. She conducted a very good interview, I think, and Dave was certainly open with her.|
|8||"What's the Icelandair Passenger Duct-Taped to Today?"|
|8||Parking signs in Midtown Manhattan have been simplified.|
|8||Top Ten Other Al Roker Revelations (Al had a dreadful accident in the White House shortly after his lap-band operation.)|
|8||Brian Williams is always a tremendous guest. As always, Brian has valuable insight on the news of the day, then seals the deal with a killer Regis impression. (video)|
|9||We're off to Hello Deli to check in with Rupert and play "What's in the Deep Fryer?" (video)|
|10||Marilyn Sargent coins the term "take a Roker." (See January 8.)|
|11||Allison Williams plugs Girls, briefs us on the Puppy Bowl and tells us about being charged by elephants in Kenya. (video)|
|14||"Small Town News" / The Seabreeze News, San Leon, Texas: "FREE dog, male, light brown, looks like a Terror [sic], Hateful little bastard, bites."|
|15||Jennifer Lawrence plugs Silver Linings Playbook. I really enjoyed her segment. She's 22, and now has her second Academy Award nomination. She was a funny and agreeable guest, and also much more ornery than the average guest. She's a little bit sick, and early on she kind of horked up something. Cool. Dave asks Jennifer what drew her to acting. She reports that she was a pathological liar as a kid. She once claimed she was going to get her legs amputated. She claimed her dad drove a barge, and the family were millionaires. Not enough? She claimed she spayed cats and dogs on the weekends! (video) While finishing this review, I read in US Weekly that Jennifer's nickname as a girl was Nitro, because she was so hyper.|
|16||Dr. Arnold Scanlon of the CDC has a tough-guy message for the flu virus. This may be my favorite segment of the year. (video)|
|17||It's Jungle Jack Hanna's first visit of the year. (video)|
|18||It's an audio Top Ten: Top Ten New York City Noises. (video)|
|28||"Noticias Actuales": Tony Mendez is weatherman Rainy Mendoza in this episode. (video)|
|29||Dave plays, but loses, tonight's "Origami Challenge." He folds up an amazing froggy, but was supposed to make a crab. No jet ski for Dave.|
|29||Sylvester Stallone tells about getting started in his career, and surgery on the same day as Arnold Schwarzenegger. (video)|
|30||All in one segment, Dave sings Elvis's "I Can't Help Falling in Love with You," and we visit with Rupert Jee for "How Long Is Your Foot-Long?" (video)|
|30||Will Lee has a "Dick Cheney's Dungeon" scream. This is the "Missing UPS Driver" edition. (video)|
|31||It's the premiere of "Ronaiah Tuiasosopo Mispronunciation Roundup."|
|31||Al Pacino seems distracted in an extended interview, but seems to enjoy a surprise visit by Kevin Spacey, who does a killer impression of him.|
|31||The February Nielsen Sweeps is January 31 - February 27.|
|1||It's Dave's 31st anniversary on late night television.|
|1||Kevin Spacey plugs House of Cards, an entire series that is being produced and released all at once by Netflix. Kevin does his awesome Johnny Carson impression, and he reprises his Al Pacino impression from last night's episode. (video)|
|3||Dave and Andrew Luck team up for a 20-second Late Show ad in Super Bowl XLVII, taped on the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater. (video)|
|4||Today's the beginning of a well-received Elvis Tribute Artist Week, with Cody Ray Slaughter, Brandon Bennett, Justin Shandor, Shawn Klush and Ben Portsmouth. The Late Show goes on to win the week in ratings.|
|4||Dave and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie have an outstanding 22-minute interview about fat jokes, Hurricane Sandy relief and the governor's political future. (video)
|4||A retrospective of Super Bowl XLVII commercials picks up on the themes hot chick and dumb guy.|
|5||I have to include fellow Kansas State Wildcat, Eric Stonestreet, in my year-end review. (video)|
|6||The Rexel® cue card shredder is a new on-stage feature. The evidence for poorly-received monologue jokes will be obliterated in about five seconds.|
|11||It's the annual Top Ten and cover reveal with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models. (video) Kate Upton has the cover for 2013. (In the set-up for the TTL, Dave gives us a bonus: "I do, and do and do for you kids, and this is the thanks I get?") My favorite model is the adorable Nina Agdal from Denmark.|
|11||Dave's last two or three interviews with Bill O'Reilly have gone much better, now that the two cranky old guys have decided to play nice and have a good discussion. (video)|
|12||Dave was feelin' it tonight, with "Late Show Message to the Best in Show Winner" (video) and "Who's a Bad Pope?" (video). I love everything Alan Kalter does. His Top Ten ad for Sink Plugs® for Valentine's Day becomes an instant classic. (video)|
|13||Alan pitches another Top Ten list sponsor: Urine Soaked Carpet Barn®, making fun of the Carnival Cruise ship stranded in the Caribbean. (video)|
Urine Soaked Carpet Barn® Lady
Dave: "Who's a good doggie?" (.mp3)
|14||Will Lee has a "Dick Cheney's Dungeon" scream. This is the "Asteroid" edition. (video) Today a 150-mile-wide asteroid was supposed to hit our fine planet.|
|15||Dave interrupts the Weekend Late Show promo to fire Bruce and Linda. (video) We saw this coming, after Dave suddenly turned on the show after the January 4 promo, announcing his full confidence that Bruce has a criminal record. Fans had been divided on the segment. Those who find it annoying should remember that it's a very good spoof of overly-perky morning talk shows. The only thing I won't miss is the increasingly-gaudy flower arrangements, but again, I know they were part of the spoof. I hope Wink Wilson lands on his feet. No fan I know of knows who played Bruce and Linda. The WLS has its own Facebook fan group.
|18||It's the first of a long series of "Backstage Photo Club" staff trading cards. Tonight: TV's David Letterman. Collect 'em all. You don't have to buy gum or cereal, or anything other than an HDTV.|
|19||That's not Jesus. That's Dan Fogelberg.
|20||"Small Town News" includes "Coke smuggler nabbed in SUV with 'SMUGLER' plate," and " 'Ninja' donkey eludes the law."|
|20||Where better to go to investigate the current concern about the use of horse meat in local eateries than Hello Deli? Rupert will give us the facts... just the facts. (video)|
|21||"Stupid Human Tricks" includes jumping rope while bouncing a ball with the head, drinking a bottle of water in one second, and a cotton candy toupee. (video of our friend Chris Clark)|
|22||TV's Tony Mendez introduces his new TV show, Delis, Food Carts and Pizza Joints, this week visiting Famous Amadeus Pizza. (video) Jude Brennan (as Laura Ehrlich) shows celebrity lookalike fragments of the meteorite that attacked Russia last week. For example, here's Alan Arkin.
|26||Dave gets into an FX conversation with audio guy Gary Kiffel (unseen), who answers questions with the Late Show yes bell or no buzzer.|
|27||Hillary Clinton joins Dave for a fun and informative call on the DAVE phone, through the miracle of recycling past interviews of hers. Yes, there was a pantsuit joke.|
|11||Depeche Mode performs the first Live on Letterman webcast. Someone made an impressive poster.|
|11||Don't miss Alan Kalter's lecture on Demodex mites... one of my favorite segments of the year. (video)|
|12||Dave calls the Vatican about the Papal Conclave. Security boss Bill DeLace takes the call. It's like the Late Night days, because we get to see two do-overs. (video) God does a cameo in a spoof preview of The History Channel's The Bible.|
|13||A Dave biographical comic book about Dave goes on sale today. comicbook.com|
|14||"Gaucho Pope" rides up and down Broadway on a horse. Also, it's the first full credits since 7/08/12.|
|15||Newly fired from the Weekend Late Show, Bruce and Linda do their first promo for Showbiz Weekend.|
|18||Dave has an awesome desk chat about Sully's animal exterminations, and the latest: a groundhog.|
|18||Selena Gomez has an all-too-short segment. She cracks up Dave with a line about her ex, Justin what's-his-name. (video)|
|19||Dave: "The pope is urging compassion for those less fortunate: of course, the poor, the indigent... compassion for them, the oppressed... urging compassion for them. Also, Carnival Cruise passengers."|
|20||Dave has an awesome desk rant about the pitiful new Showbiz Weekend.|
|20||Graham Rahal delivers a fun Top Ten.|
|22||Tonight marks the premiere of the controversial "Stooge of the Night."|
|25||Dave gets the bright idea (bright yellow, that is) of making his own Peep®. Not good for a first try. See for yourself. (video)|
|27||A policeman from St. Louis is called to the stage to pat down Dave after his monologue. (video), and Dave has another rant about the awful new Showbiz Weekend. (video)|
|27||Security boss Bill DeLace shows up at Dave's monologue mark. He's a chef tonight, and forces Dave to taste his sauce. Or else.|
|27|| The highlight of tonight's telecast is a side trip during the Top Ten. Dave does his new Who's a good doggie? routine, to thunderous applause.|
|1||It's always fun to have Jeff Altman on the show. (video)|
|2||Regis and Dave have their usual action-packed visit, and the cast of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella perform a number from the play. It's at the Broadway Theatre, 1681 Broadway at 53rd Street.|
|3||"I got a call from my mom today. She says, 'Well, David, I see you didn't get the Tonight Show again.' " – David Letterman|
|3||In his desk chat, Dave discusses NBC's announcement today that Jimmy Fallon will replace Jay Leno on Tonight in Feb. 2014. Dave congratulates Jay on a job well done, and wonders how many times a guy can be pushed out of a job. What's the matter with NBC? What are they thinking? Paul says Jay's been nothing but consistent, has done a solid job and brings in huge ratings. What's the reward for that? Adios. Dave continues, "As with everything in life, all I really care about is, 'How will this affect me?' That's all I really care about." Dave asks, "And Paul, is there any way NBC can push me out of this job?" It's going to be Dave and Paul, and two guys named Jimmy. Paul chimes in with, "Jimmy, Jimmy, Dave, and I don't care." Dave concludes with, "Good luck to Jay. I know he'll be out on the road, gettin' it done and takin' care of business, and congratulations on a nice, long run there at the Tonight Show... if, in fact, you're not comin' back." Then we get the Top Ten Things We'll Miss About Jay Leno. (video)|
|4||Kathy Mavrikakis gives newly-appointed Late Show host Todd Seda a tour of the theater. CBS wanted someone younger and more likable. (video)
|4||Martin Short has a musical spoof of Carnival Cruises' recent troubles: "If You Could See Me Now"|
|9||Lindsay Lohan has a much-publicized appearance to plug Scary Movie 5, not long before she heads to lock-up rehab. Dave asks Lindsay some pretty direct questions about her antics, and has to give her a Kleenex® before it's over. Later in the day Lindsay tweets, "Had a wonderful time at the @Late_Show. It was great fun! #iHeartDave."|
|9||You need this in your collection. It's Dave with "I wouldn't give your troubles to a monkey on a rock. (.mp3)|
|10||Harrison Ford is one of my favorite guests, and he has another awesome joke:
"So there were these two cannibals from different villages, and they met on a path one day. And one cannibal says to the other, 'Hey, how're you doin'? I haven't seen you in a while.' He says, 'Oh, I'm OK, but I... I...' " (rubs his tummy) "He said, 'What's the matter?' He says, 'I... I... my stomach. I haven't been feelin' so good lately.' He says, 'Well, what have you been eatin'?' He said, 'Oh, you know... the usual... um, missionaries, mostly.' He said, 'Well, wait a second. Well, how... how are you... how do you prepare... how do you cook 'em?' He says, 'Well, you know... the regular way. We get a big pot of water in the middle of the village... big fire underneath... a couple bay leaves. We get it boilin', and we thrown 'em in. Maybe an hour, hour-and-a-half, and, uh...' He says, 'Wait a second.' He says, 'Uhh, what do they look like?' He said, 'Well, you know. That little fringe of hair, and they've got those brown, uh, robes, and the sandals.' " (smiling) "He says, 'You're cookin' 'em wrong!' He said, 'What do you mean, we're cookin' 'em wrong?' He said, 'Them are friars.' " (video)
|22||It's the premiere of the much-maligned "Stooge of the Night." The stooges are Senators who have displeased Dave in some way.|
|24||Dave visits with A. J. Clemente, the new college graduate who was fired after his first time anchoring a newscast in Bismarck, N.D. It apparently had something to do with uttering the Mother of All Cuss Words as his very first word as a news anchor.|
|24||Wake the kids. Phone the neighbors. It's "Tony Mendez Gives Away the Endings to Movies in Spanish." |
|25||The May Nielsen Sweeps is April 25 - May 22.|
|26||audience interruption: Dr. Martin Foley, thoracic surgeon, will... not... shut... up. Intern Emily Erotas, seated by the long-winded doctor, gets a nice cameo.|
|29||Sarah Billington Connell and Dan Fetter appear in a commercial for Virgin Airlines' new Seat-to-Seat program. (Buy a drink for a passenger you have the hots for.) (video) (HD video)|
|1||It's all-doggie Stupid Pet Tricks: somersaults, driving and high jumping. (video)|
|2||Long-time fan Alan Page creates a Facebook group for Stooge of the Night.|
|2||Paris Hilton has a fun visit with Dave. She passes the blindfold test on her fragrance, Just Me™, as well as Windex®. (video)|
|3||Oh, here we go! It's David Letterman's favorite day tomorrow, as he gets to hear Kentucky Derby track announcer Dave Johnson do his two minutes of play-by-play, belting out "and down the stretch they come!" (.mp3)|
|6||Dave has a brief cameo in a piece from today's Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy's guest, Steve Martin, has all kinds of detours enroute from the make-up room to the guest chair. (video)|
|7||Who can spice up Sweeps Month better than TV's Gerard Mulligan? Tonight he's Columbia University professor of metallurgy Dr. Stuart Brinworth, with us to review Iron Man 3. DeLace's security guys drag Gerard offstage, and he still won't end his rant about misunderstood metals. (video)|
|7||Zooey Deschanel is a charming and engaging guest, and extensively easy on the eyes. (video)|
|9||It's a safe bet that Jungle Jack Hanna will show up in a Sweeps month. (video)|
|10||In his Mother's Day gift to the world, Dave favors us with a Julia Child impression, rivaling Dan Aykroyd's version on Saturday Night Live. (video)|
|13||It's the long-awaited premiere of "Ask a Cicada," with Gerard Mulligan and Dave in Q & A, and stand-up comedy added in. (video)|
|17||Here's the premiere of "A Monkey Sneezing: Allergy Edition" (video)|
|20||It appears that tonight marks the final installment of "Stooge of the Night," which premiered on 4/22/13 to unmixed reviews.|
|22||"Noticias Actuales": Tony Mendez calls Dave a "googly-eyed old giraffe." (video)|
|3||My DaveCon friends and I got to appear in an official CelebriGum photo after today's taping. Thanks for the memories, Steve Young. (photo)|
|3||Dave gave an on-air shout out to my friend Bill Lehecka during the DaveCon 2013 taping, and here's mine. While we were in the lobby, waiting to enter the theater, I was standing by Bill and said something like, "I'd like to ask Dave a preshow question, but if I ever do it, I'd want it to be great." Bill announced to me that he was going to claim he was starting a blog, and ask Dave for ideas. Bill, with perfect timing, got his hand in the air and was called on. Dave made fun of him a little during the warm-up, then started his monologue with air time for Bill's dilemma. Very nice work! (YouTube)|
|3||One other thing about this show: I've had the chance to photograph Kathleen Ankers' award-winning Late Show set up close, but I didn't know until Frank Turner's musical segment that at least part of the set is on wheels. Stagehands just unplugged the lights and moved some of the sections in order to make way for the band.|
|3||It's just me. Dave doesn't mind if civilians sit at his desk, but his swivel chair is locked up immediately after the taping, because he doesn't like anyone changing the adjustments. I was on a folding chair. The guest chairs are very comfy! You'll see backstage junk if you enlarge the picture. Part of the skyline backdrop had been wheeled aside to make room for the musical group at the end of the show. The desk is a one-of-a-kind prop, and is unfinished on the back side. Check out my 2010 Trip Report if you'd like to see photos of the award-winning set.
Click to enlarge at your own risk.
|4||Before DaveCon yesterday, I was whining to my friends that we hadn't seen writer Joe Grossman in way too long. Yes! Joe showed up in yesterday's episode with a collection of "Chris Christie Is So Not Fat" jokes. I mention this here because I was eating in Hello Deli today, just before leaving for LaGuardia to return to Kansas. In walks director Jerry Foley, so I got to thank him for Joe's awesome segment, and his excellent work over the years. During that same Hello Deli lunch, I was on red alert for Paul Shaffer. I had his book, We'll Be Here for the Rest of Our Lives, in my suitcase beside me, with the title page bookmarked, just in case. Yes! A driver dropped Paul off about 10 feet from me, and he very kindly autographed my copy of his 2009 book.|
|5||Paul Shaffer shows up in a crazy, black & white striped suit. Dave smarts off to Paul, "Are you out on time for good behavior?" The CBS Orchestra fires up "Jailhouse Rock."|
|10||Write this down. Today's episode marks the first mention of the NSA. There will be plenty more to come.|
|10||After a three-day weekend, we notice that the glass-free windows behind Dave's command module are missing. As of late 2013, this seems to be permanent.|
|10||For the first time while Alan Kalter transitions out of Act 1, he does a product plug... this time for Ford, and tomorrow's will be for Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy®.|
|12||"Father's Day Cards": "Dad, Just Because You Host a Late Night Talk Show Doesn't Mean I Think You're Cool."|
|12||Darlene Love sits down with Dave for an interview for the first time. The occasion was a documentary about Darlene, 20 Feet from Stardom. Read Tad Friend's feature on Darlene, "Unsung," in the July 2013 New Yorker. Finally, see video of Darlene singing "Lean on Me" on the Late Show site.|
|13||I always enjoy the calls from Jeff Altman, as whatever intoxicated character he's playing. It was a good one tonight. You can read it in the episode logs, or watch the video.|
|17||Bill O'Reilly's on to plug his latest book, Kennedy's Last Days. Dave has a new book, too: Leno's Last Days.
|19||Superman: Man of Steel opened this month, but something is wrong. Where are Superman's red underpants? Mitch Skelnick, president of The Association of External Red Underpants Manufacturers™, addresses this troubling matter.|
|19||"Fun Things to Do in the Summertime" includes:
- Go door-to-door, checking neighbors for ticks.
- Catch, field dress and grill a raccoon.
- Fake a slip-and-fall injury at your local pool.
|20||Dave and Jerry Seinfeld team up in an episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.|
|23||Tonight marks the first of several split-screen visits with CBS Chief Foreign Correspondent Graham Fenwick-Jones, tonight on the birth of the British royal baby. Come on, Graham, enunciate! (video) We'll learn in September that Graham is played by James A. Stephens.|
|24||Today marks the first mention of NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, who has done some globetrotting this year while avoiding the United States government.|
|26||It's the first Broadway Hose Cam® since 7/24/12. The Stanley Cup will be in on the dampening.|
|26||TV's David Letterman performs his latest "Heeere kitty kitty kitty." (.mp3) Download this for your iTunes.|
|27||The July Nielsen Sweeps is June 27 - July 24.|
|8||Desk Chat: Dave was watching TV with Harry, and one of those ads for performance pills comes on. They run their little commercial and Harry says, "Daddy, did he say reptile dysfunction?"|
|9||Late Show Strike Captain Bill Scheft takes the stage to pass on his thanks, as a comedy writer, to easy targets Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner for running for political office.|
|10||Houndmouth perform "Ludlow." I love their keyboard babe, @Katie Toupin. (video)|
|15||Bruce Willis returns to the Late Show on a citibike™. He shamelessly hawks a miracle pharmaceutical, Celebruce®. The pills make you look more like Bruce. They make you kinder, and they even make you like Dave more!! Watch out for the side effects of tingling, forgetfulness and tragic, total hair loss. Here's an Instagram with Jerry Foley.|
|16||Summer wouldn't be complete without an installment of "Dock Diving Dogs." Taz, a black Labrador retriever from Ontario, wins with a jump of 30' 6"!|
|17||Todd Seda, assistant cue card dude, always delivers fun segments. Tonight's his first appearance as NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, via split screen from the Moscow airport.|
|18||Congrats to the Late Show's Jerry Foley on his Emmy nomination today for Outstanding Directing for a Variety Series. (link) Jerry's nominated for Episode 3749, the show with no audience on October 29, 2012, the day Hurricane Sandy hit NYC. The Emmys aired on CBS on Sunday, September 22 at 8:00 ET.|
|22||Rolling Stone naturally includes Dave in "Best Late-Night TV Moments of the Decade." Warren Zevon and Joaquin Phoenix made the list!|
|23||The British royal baby was born yesterday. Dave had his money in the office pool on the baby's name as Plaxico. The royal birth results in the first split-screen interview with CBS Chief Foreign Correspondent Graham Fenwick-Jones. (video) As time goes on, we'll learn that Graham is actually soap actor James A. Stephens.|
|24||Dave will be working over that naughty Anthony Weiner in a major way this summer, during his race for mayor of New York City. (He'll end up with about 5% of the votes.) The CBS Orchestra has just released a theme song for the wannabe mayor, who we've learned goes by Carlos Danger in his sext messages. (video)|
|24||Todd Seda amuses us with another appearance as NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden.|
|25||Regis Philbin is back for Dave to pick on again. He knows Dave will give him the business, but he keeps coming back for another round. (video)|
|29||Dave takes on Time Warner Cable's dumping of CBS in major cities to try to weasel more money out of the network. Oops. He's not overjoyed with CBS running an ad that itemizes all the CBS programs we'll be missing, but the Late Show wasn't mentioned!|
|29||"Small Town News": The Madison County Record, Hunstville, Arkansas: SHERIFF'S OFFICE: "A caller at Edgewood Place reported that there were two dogs in her yard "stuck together."|
|30||Amanda Seyfried is on to plug Lovelace. She's brought material, too... her dog, @Finn Seyfried, who does a Stupid Pet Trick by ignoring a cheeseburger placed on his head. (video) Ted Koppel did a similar trick with a dog biscuit on his nose, back on 2/23/87. Amanda is an awesome guest, and one of the best-looking humans ever. (So why am I posting a picture of her dog?) That's a good question. As proprietor of this site, I've decided to include a photo of Amanda.
|31||We end July with another fun visit with Edward Snowden (OK... Todd Seda) in the Moscow Airport.|
|1||Oprah Winfrey visits with Dave for 27+ minutes. The two legendary broadcasters discuss Oprah's new film, Lee Daniels' The Butler, along with Oprah's school for girls in Africa, and they compare notes on meditation. (video)|
|1||Dave: "Here's an idea about how quickly time goes by. You know what happened while you were comin'? Lindsay Lohan got out of rehab. She's been in rehab for three... at least three months, ladies and gentlemen. And she wants to move to New York City. What... could... possibly... go... wrong? What could...? Gentlemen, start your blenders! Here we go! Authorities are advising citizens to stay indoors. Lindsay Lohan has been in rehab... this was her sixth visit. You know what that means? The next one's free!"
|August started with a bang because of Oprah, but there were no new episodes between August 1 and 19.|
|4||No! CelebriGum is retired on its third anniversary. (YouTube video)|
|19||Desk Chat: Dave has quite a rant about Time Warner Cable. They want money from CBS, who aren't budging, so in NYC and L.A., they're refusing to carry their programming. Dave has determined that they are "goons." He says, "I wish I knew more about them, so I could say more unpleasant things about them." He says, "Because if you don't put CBS back on your cable, night after night after night, I will say nasty, awful things about you that no one will see. So there!"|
|19||John Mayer does a "Live on Letterman" concert.|
|20||Jim Keyes, CEO of Time Warner (and 7-Eleven®, Exxon Mobil, Shell Oil and Carnival Cruises, as well as Director of Mayan Public Relations, which you know if you're a regular Late Show viewer) is back for another onstage visit about whatever company he's running this week.|
|20||John Legend does a "Live on Letterman" concert.|
|21||Todd Seda's back as whistleblower Edward Snowden, still holed up in the Moscow Airport. Edward's a bit of a handful, if you ask me, but he sure can blow a whistle!|
|22||Dave shows Hosecam: The Home Game™. It's the most fun you can have with water and electricity. Dave opens the box to shows us what we get: a hose, a roll of duct tape, a handheld microphone and a cheapie speaker. There seems to be a nozzle included, and there's a black box of some sort. All this for just $89.95! According to my records, the Hose Cam® premiered under another name back in '94, so this was a long time coming.|
|22||Graham Fenwick-Jones comments on the CBS / Time Warner Cable dust-up. (video)|
|23||Dave's late-2012 interview with Charlie Rose on PBS finally airs today. (26-minute video)|
|26||Miley Cyrus twerks on MTV tonight, delighting talk show monologue writers nationwide.|
|26||Today's desk chat is about a minor car accident. He got distracted by an apple he'd dropped. (video)|
|27||Just when we thought we had our lives straightened out, Bruce and Linda re-emerge, covering the VMAs (and Miley Cyrus). Let us all take a moment for prayer that "I wish they would have let us inside" might be Bruce's last words on the Late Show. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Jesus.|
|28||Army Staff Sergeant Ty Michael Carter, Medal of Honor recipient, visits with Dave for 23 minutes about his experiences in Afghanistan, his heroic actions in a 12-hour-long battle that resulted in the Medal of Honor, and post-traumatic stress. (video)|
|28||Hayden Panettiere is a fine guest, who only gets six minutes. (video)|
|29||Bill Murray makes tonight's 20th anniversary on CBS unforgettable. He takes a pick axe to the set, in search of a memento hidden in 1993. Fortunately, when the pick axe doesn't work, he finds a jackhammer. Then Bill blows the roof off the dump, covering Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You." (video)
|28||Hayden Panettiere is a fine guest, who only gets six minutes. (video)|
|30||The Late Show premiered on August 30, 1993. The anniversary show aired yesterday, because of Friday reruns during the summer.|
|30||Here's a 20th Anniversary Photo Album video, with right at 300 photos of memorable events and guests.|
|30||Staff posed for the traditional anniversary photo. Thanks to Dave and the crew for all the fun times! |
|3||Top Ten Thoughts Going Through Diana Nyad's Mind While Swimming from Cuba to Florida / #9: "Mmm, plankton!" / #1: "Still better than a Carnival cruise." |
|4||Gene Szymanski stops by to inform Dave that he's leaving early because of the Jewish high holiday, Rush Limbaugh. Or Rumspringa. Or Shenandoah. Or Benihana. Something like that.|
|5||Graham Fenwick-Jones comments on the NFL. (video)|
|11||Dave has the perfect plan for dealing with Bashar Al-Assad. (video)|
|12||Dave and Alec Baldwin visit about his troubles with photographers. (video)|
|13||Graham Fenwick-Jones visits with Dave about that rascally Vladimir Putin. (video)|
|14||Hey, I'm not slacking. This is the first of nine days off for our Late Show pals.|
|23||Serena Williams was by on August 22, and Dave smarted off about the Ritz Hotel in Paris. Today he reads a letter from their management, and models a monogrammed robe they sent him. (video)
Dear Monsieur Letterman,
With great disappointment, we witnessed on your show on August 22nd that you did not have the best of stays at the Ritz Paris. However, we are still big fans of your show, and will continue to watch with enthusiasm. (Dave: "This show is not seen in France.") We hope that you will accept our sincere apologies, and this monogrammed bathrobe until our grand re-opening... (Dave: "Oh, see, this is the problem. Their grand re-opening in 2014. Apparently I stayed there when it was closed. Common mistake.") With best wishes from Place Vendôme,
Christian Boyens and the Ritz Team.
|24||Cher is on to plug her new album, Closer to the Truth. She descends from the rafters on some sort of swing the stagehands built for her. Whether you're a big fan or not, you have to agree that this is an exceptional interview. You don't know exactly what she'll say, but she'll give you honest, no-holds-barred opinions. For example, when Dave asked her about departed musicians she knew, Cher tells about some, then says, "I don't know, but sometimes the best thing you can do for your career is die." Dave and Cher have a great discussion about the Rolling Stones and The Beatles. Cher loves Brian Wilson, who lived down the street. She says, "He was a lovely man, not meant to navigate this particular universe." She will be the only guest on tonight's show, and will sing, as well.
|25||It's an instant classic Top Ten, as opera star Renée Fleming sings the Top Ten Opera Lyrics. (video)
|27||Graham Fenwick-Jones comments on the Fiscal Cliff. (video)|
|30||It's a classic desk chat, as Dave reports his latest challenges with Sully, who mistakes our host for a fire hydrant. (video)|
|2||Here's a rare Late Show cold open with Yoko Ono. (video)|
|3||It's an instant classic Stupid Human Trick, as Dan Fox gobbles up goldfish crackers, supplied by a treadmill. (video)|
|4||Graham Fenwick-Jones enlightens us on the U. S. government shutdown. (video)|
|4||Today Dave extended his contract with CBS through 2015. Here's the press release.|
|7||Tom Hanks is always a fun guest. Tonight he's on to plug Captain Phillips, and drops a bit of a bombshell, revealing that he's developed type 2 diabetes. (video)|
|9||TV's Tony Mendez appears in one of the year's funniest segments, "(Tattoo Tragedies with Tony Mendez." SPOILER: It includes a chase scene. Writers' Assistant Mike Leech co-stars.|
|10||Dave surprises Jungle Jack Hanna. He knows what critters he's bringing, and he has studied up on them! (video)|
|10||Graham Fenwick-Jones is back to explain the Debt Ceiling. (video)|
|15||My friend Bill Lehecka was the first ever to have Dave answer a tweet to #AskLetterman via @LateShow (video)|
|16||Tonight marks the first airing of a clip of a foreign man pounding on a metal pie pan with a funny-looking hammer. It'll be fun to see how much staying power it has. Before long we'll have musical accompaniment. (video)|
|17||It's more of the foreign man pounding on a metal pie pan with a funny-looking hammer, which premiered last night. The CBS Orchestra play along with him, by way of Ozzie Osbourne's "Mississippi Queen." (video)|
|18||CEO of CelebriGum, Steve Young, has been writing for Dave for 23 years, and since September 1990, he's been visiting local shops to find items for "Dave's Record Collection." Along the way, he discovered that in the 1950s through the 1970s, corporations had been commissioning musicals to be performed one-time-only at sales conventions. Some were hokey, and some were revelations. He's written an amazing book, Everything's Coming Up Profits, released this month. Hear samples of the musicals at industrialmusicals.com. Tonight... by popular demand... Steve appears on the Late Show to describe his book, and play some samples. (video)
|18||CBS flagship station WCBS 2 in New York City runs a promo for tonight's Late Show, including "Hall of Fame quarterback Steve Young." They'll run a correction a few minutes later. (video)|
|18||Graham Fenwick-Jones has another look at the U. S. government shutdown. (video)|
|19||October 19 through 27 is vacation!|
|28||It's the foreign man pounding on a metal pie pan again, this time accompanied by "Monster Mash." (video)|
|29||TV's David Letterman performs his latest "Who's a Good Doggie?" (.mp3)|
|30||It's the foreign man pounding on a metal pie pan again, this time accompanied by a horror movie stinger. (video)|
|31||The November Nielsen Sweeps is October 31 - November 27.|
|31||It's the latest installment of "New Halloween Costumes!" We didn't get any Stangel girls this year. (video)|
|31||Harrison Ford has a joke for us!
"It's Saul's 85th birthday, and a group of his friends get together and decide to do something nice for Saul. So they take him to the Plaza for a beautiful lunch. And they sit down, they had a leisurely lunch, Saul's very grateful, he's very happy. He's in a very good mood. They're walking out and Saul's about to say goodbye, and they say, 'No, no, Saul. It's not over.' He says, 'No? It's not over?' They said, 'No.' They put him in the elevator, and they take him up to a beautiful suite, overlooking the park, and they sit him on the edge of the bed. Saul says, 'What? What? They said, 'Saul, happy birthday,' and they walk out the door. Saul says, 'What? What?' And the door of the bathroom opens, and this beautiful blonde lady comes out in her hotel bathrobe. Saul said, 'What? What?' She says, 'Happy birthday, Saul!' He says, 'Thank you. Thank you.' He says, 'Uh, what you doin' here?' She says, 'Saul, I'm here to give you super sex!' He says, 'I'll have the soup, please.' "
|4||Yes, Dave's done yet another pre-taped item, a PSA for Obamacare. Whether for it or against it, you must not miss this PSA-gone-wrong. (video)|
|4||It's the foreign man pounding on a metal pie pan again, this time accompanied by "The Anvil Chorus" from Giuseppe Verdi's opera, Il trovatore, performed by the CBS Orchestra. (video)|
|4||In the Comedy Gold department, today we're introduced to the mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford. He won't be referred to by name until the 7th. There's an avalanche of accusations that he is a crack cocaine aficionado, a womanizer and a sure fire source of inappropriate quotes, including threatening to kill someone. (glamour photo)|
|5||Late Show writer Steve Young was on NPR today. He was promoting his new book, Everything's Coming Up Profits. (Right-click to download the .mp3.) Read NPR's background story here.|
|5||Dave has written a book, released today! It's This Land Was Made for You and Me (But Mostly Me): Billionaires in the Wild, with Bruce McCall. The New Yorker has a preview, and The New York Times has this review. (Amazon) Hey! We have video of Bruce's interview with Dave tonight.
|5||Our beloved announcer, Alan Kalter, has worked tirelessly to put together an Election Day skit. He wants everyone to get out and vote. Sue Hum has fixed him up with an Uncle Sam costume, and Alan has written a song to the tune of "Yankee Doodle Dandy." Click here to witness the fiasco.|
|5||Dave's been thinking he should get on the bandwagon and make a video that goes viral. What better way to do that than to fake his death, and prank Kathy Mavrikakis at the same time? Sometimes the best-laid plans don't go well. Let's watch Dave play dead, shall we? (video)|
|6||America's Sweetheart, Chris Elliott, plugs Eagleheart. He looks really skinny, and claims he ran in the New York Marathon. Anyway, before long Gerard Mulligan shows up unexpectedly, and announces that he's still running in the marathon. Gerard's a wreck on this fourth day of running, and he needs urgent medical attention. Chris does CPR on him. Ewww. (video)|
|6||The amazing Natalie Portman is on to plug Thor: The Dark World, in this her 16th visit with Dave. Sadly, she's preparing to move to France with her hubby, a ballet expert. (video)|
|12||It's a crazy episode, with happenings that remind one of Late Night, including Dave wearing a sport coat, and a six-minute segment with Dave stalling for time in hopes that a set of blue cards for an inconsequential segment could be made. He for some reason doesn't want Tony's cue cards. (video)|
|12||Alan Kalter changes up the intro voice-over that debuted on January 2. For tonight, at least, it's, "Broadcasting from the heart of Broadway, across the nation and around the world, it's America's most-popular and longest-running TV fishing show, the Late Show with David Letterman!"|
|12||Michael J. Fox plugs his show on NBC. His courageous, 22-year battle with Parkinson's disease should inspire all of us. (video)|
|13||Alan Kalter's intro is modified for the second night in a row. Tonight it's "From the heart of Broadway, across the nation and around the world, it's the Late Show with David Letterman!"
|13||Standing in questioning before a Toronto City Council meeting today, Mayor Rob Ford admitted to having purchased illegal drugs within the past two years. (CBC News) The city council then voted 35-7 to ask the mayor to take a leave of absence. See my episode logs for the Late Show's reports of his indiscretions.|
|14||Dave delivers an instant-classic desk chat... a 5½-minute rant about "Why I Don't Go Out." In short, Dave and Paul were on Broadway last night to take in Billy Crystal's autobiographical 700 Sundays, in its return for the holidays. Dave ignored Regis until intermission, because he didn't want trouble. He said something to light Regis's fuse during intermission, and got more than he bargained for. Regis went off, Dave claims, and supposedly got himself tossed from the theater at the end of the intermission. (video)|
|15||It's one of the all-time great Small Town News clippings, and a really fun set of Stupid Pet Tricks.|
|18||Chris Elliott visited with the Nerdist guys for their podcast. It runs 01:16, and includes an interesting look back at Late Night.|
|18||Toronto mayor Rob Ford, crack hobbyist, takes off running in a city council meeting, and almost wipes out a woman along the way. Comedians throughout North America appreciate his contributions.|
|19||Former writers' assistant Mike Leech was appointed to writer today, reports one of the Stangels.|
|20||Joe Grossman, not seen for almost six months, re-emerged during an investigation of a faulty monologue joke. It was a spoof on Mayor's Ford's crack confession. (video)|
|20||Jennifer Lawrence has a very funny and entertaining visit, as the premiere of The Hunger Games: What's for Supper? approaches. Dave likes her because she's a fine actress, but not snotty. Jennifer gets 22 minutes, instead of the usual eight. Jennifer's very cold. Pat Farmer finds her a cute pink blankie with flowers. Before long... but not for long... Dave and Jennifer are hidden under the blanket. (my video) (YouTube: 03:11 clip) (Twitter photo) The entertainment media picked up on this interview like crazy, because Jennifer tells about her current tummy troubles, and because of the super-cute photos of Jennifer peeking out from her blankie. She was originally scheduled to appear yesterday, but she wasn't feeling well. (YouTube) (6 seconds on Vine)
I now have all of Jennifer's Late Show appearances in my Video Archives. Visit my guest appearances page, around 11-21-13, for a small sampling of the media coverage of Jennifer's visit, which was promptly repeated on December 5.
|21||Sixteen guests from recent weeks appear in a compilation video, each contributing a phrase for Dave's long-time joke about squirrels and nuts. (YouTube)|
|22||Howard Stern has a 23-minute interview with Dave about Steve Martin and his banjo, the piano teacher who hanged himself to get Howard out of lessons, parents, Leno, dinner encounters with Ron Rickles and network executives. The interview concludes as Howard and Dave dance onstage. (142 MB video)|
|27||Today marks the five-year anniversary of our introduction to Joe Grossman's monkey, Sherman, sneezing at the Late Show staff's 2008 Thanksgiving feast. (video)|
|27||It's a look at the annual Late Show staff Thanksgiving feed, including Sarah Connell, Biff Henderson, Sheila Rogers, George Clarke's Slop Sink Turkey Gravy, Todd Seda coughing up a 9-V battery, dining sound effects with audio guy Gary Kiffel, the interns watching the paid staff eat, Steve Young singing "The Ballad of the Thanksgiving Turkey," Dave appearing via hologram and, high on crack, Mayor Rob Ford storms the room and destroys the dessert table. (video)|
|27||Since every American enjoys music about poultry dismemberment, here's Steve Young's complete "Ballad of the Thanksgiving Turkey." Only part of the song was broadcast during the Thanksgiving meal video referenced above. (complete video)|
|27||In a spoof of Ken Burns' recreation of the Gettysburg Address, here's Ken Burns' "The Statement," with Jennifer Lawrence, Vince Vaughn, Jesse Tyler Ferguson and others presenting Mayor Rob Ford's admission of his crack hobby. (video) This 50-second segment drew major media coverage.
|11||Josh Groban sings the Top Ten Christmas Songs for 2013. It's some very funny writing. It's on the show's YouTube site.|
|11||Todd Seda appears once again in this year's episode of "The Lighting of the Late Show Intern." We're not being told he's OK. (video)|
|13||Regis Philbin has a story so long that Dave eventually walks off the set. Regis talks some more, then throws to commercials. After the break, Dave's back at his post, and Regis talks even more. John Witherspoon plugs First Family, and presents Dave with some pretty awesome red Christmas shoes.|
|15||Writer Steve Young wrote "19th Century Christmas" a year ago. It landed on YouTube today. You think we have problems with MRSA? Give this a listen. Then we'll talk.|
|16||Heisman winner Jameis Winston of Florida State does a fine job of presenting the Top Ten Unusual Things to Hear in a Huddle.|
|16||Will Ferrell and eight members of the "Vienna Boys' Choir" sing "Christmas Time Is Here," a Charlie Brown movie favorite from the 1960s.|
|18||Shannon Eis is in with new holiday toys. Dave rearranges a stack of phony presents with a Razor® Dirt Quad. (YouTube) Moments later, he attacks a Christmas tree that was minding its own business as he flies across the stage on a Backyard Zipline. (Twitter picture)|
|20||Today Late Show fan Alan Page unveiled a gallery on Facebook of the "Backstage Photo Club" trading cards that we began seeing this year on February 18. (link) It's a very nicely-done and fun way to get better acquainted with the staff.|
|20||Tennis legend John McEnroe kindly stands in for the injured Jay Thomas, telling his Lone Ranger story. (video) He then attacks the giant meatball and pizza atop the Christmas tree with tennis ball serves and, eventually, the racket.|
|20||We got a short sample during the staff Christmas party video. Here's Steve Young's latest holiday ballad, "Unsanitary Manger."|
|20||For the 20th time, Darlene Love sings "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)." Speaking for myself, and I think many other fans, it's what I look forward to most on the show every year. (YouTube)|
|20||This is the last new show for 2013. The next new episode will air on January 6.|